Finger Lickin’ Good

 

I JUST READ THE DARNDEST THING – a restaurant review that made me lose my appetite.

Straight from the home town of Godzilla and Hello Kitty comes a story that, under other circumstances would probably reconvene the courtrooms of Nuremberg. (Under 40? Look it up.)

The restaurant named “Resoto Ototo No Shoky Ryohin” has opened its doors in Tokyo and somehow gotten all of the usual permits and government approval to become the first eatery in the world to legally serve (Brace Yourself) Human meat. The name of the restaurant translates into English as “Edible Brother.”

“I don’t know… it tastes funny!”

During my ten minutes of intensive research I learned more than I wanted to about this whole thing. Two big questions immediately came to mind – 1) Who goes there to eat? And #2): Where do they get their “meat?”

The answer to question #1 is: NOT ME and for question #2… the answer is a bit complex.

The owners of “Edible Brother” hire people who, for a substantial amount of money, will their bodies to the restaurant. When the Entrees die the money is paid to the families and Uncle Bob Chuck leaves home in a large “to-go” box.

Enough of that. I’m cancelling my lunch plans for the next twenty years. I guess I’m a bit squeamish.

While this is the first openly cannibalistic restaurant in the world it is hardly the first in reality. I “Googled” this and read the reports of several other restaurants that have been busted for serving their Fellow Man ala carte. I assure you that none of those places are in the U.S., although it may be some time before I will feel comfortable going into any place calling itself a “Family Restaurant.”

My mind, twisted as it is, has just  allowed a scene to pop into my brain. Picture if you will the Maitre’d at the Edible Brother on a busy Saturday night.

“Donner – Party of six. Your table is ready.”

While this may be all about a place in Tokyo there are connections a little closer to home.

A student dining hall at the University of Colorado is named after one “Alferd Packer” – a man convicted of cannibalism in 1874 after he and several other gold prospectors were trapped by a Rocky Mountain blizzard. Packer was the only survivor and it was noticed that he looked pretty healthy for someone who had just spent ten weeks lost in the mountains.

That’s it. I’m not going any farther into this. I’ve ruined my day and I have probably trashed yours too.

I know that I will have to eat something today, but it is going to have to be something that I cannot, in any way, associate with the Edible Brother restaurant. Oatmeal maybe, as long as the picture of that Quaker is facing the other way.

I know for sure I won’t be having a rack of ribs.

 

 

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