I Know The Ins And Outs

THERE IS AN OLD ADAGE about the month of March that says,

“March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.”

I think I know what that is supposed to mean – weather and all. That’s nice for March, but what about the other 11 months? Are they to just be left out in the parking lot? Not wanting them to feel neglected and unloved, I have tried to come up with potentially new old adages for each month.

January “Comes in like a hangover and goes out like a snow shovel.”

 

 

 

 

February “Comes in like a Groundhog and goes out like a flying leap.”

March – we already know that one, so…

 

 

 

 

April “Comes in like a chocolate bunny and goes out like an IRS Auditor.”

May “Comes in like Hay Fever and goes out like a 30 car pileup in Turn Four.”

 

 

 

June “Comes in like a bride and groom and goes out like dueling divorce lawyers.”

July “Comes in like a George Foreman Grill and goes out like a Ron Popeil Rotisserie.”

 

 

 

 

August “Comes in like a sweat stain and goes out like a deflated beach ball.”

 

 

 

September “Comes in like shopping at Wal-Mart and goes out like a  parent/teacher conference.”

 

October “Comes in like a yard full of leaves and goes out like a serious dental problem.”

 

 

 

November “Comes in like a bag of leftover Halloween candy and goes out like an aging Rockette.”

 

December “Comes in like a Power Shopper and goes out like an overworked Credit Counselor.”

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know about you, but this person jumping up and down is exhausting me. I think I’ll go take a nap until April.

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