Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2017

Throwback Thursday March 24, 2015

Throwback Thursday 2

Elmer Fudds Of The World, Unite

coyotes

 

I SAW THE MOST INTERESTING STORY this morning on our TV.

It seems that the State of Illinois has a coyote problem. I’m not talking about those people who smuggle other people across the border although I’m sure that might be a concern as well. No, I’m talking about those bushy-tailed furry critters that we usually associate with cowboy movies. The State reports that there are approximately 30,000 coyotes residing in the Land of Lincoln. That’s quite a bunch of predators roaming around Illinois (who aren’t holding elective office).

I know that there are coyotes in the Terre Haute area (That’s French for “We’re not Illinois.”). Coyotes have been seen roaming around our neighborhood and I know of four that have been shot and killed right by a nearby Wal-Mart store. So much for the friendly greetings at Wally-World.

Four coyotes here are nothing compared to the 30,000 across the Illinois State Line just eight miles from when I sit.

The news story I saw this morning stated that the Powers That Be in Illinois are taking action. It has been legal in Illinois to hunt coyotes with rifles. It was also legit to use a bow and arrow, but only during certain times. That is about to change.

From now on it will be legal in Illinois to hunt coyotes with just about anything from a ball peen hammer on up to, and possibly including, thermonuclear weapons. They’re getting serious over there.

I do not expect the coyotes to go down without a good fight. 30,000 Wily E. Coyotes can get a lot of firepower through the mail from the Acme Company. This whole thing could get very ugly.

If I was living in Illinois and knew that it was now open season on coyotes I would be very concerned that there were going to be thousands of Elmer Fudds tromping through my back yard asking me to be, “Vewwy, vewwy quiet.”

They may bag a bunch of coyotes, but I would be anxious that many cows, trees, and family pets are going to bite the big one. Every dog and cat bigger than a pot roast is going to be fair game to some hunters.

I equate this carte blanche on coyote scalps as comparable to opening up the Indy 500 race to every sixteen year old with a drivers license and an open six-pack of Old Milwaukee – on a Saturday night – while Bogarting a doobie the size of a Louisville Slugger. It ain’t gonna be pretty.

I wish the people, and the animal population of Illinois, all the best. I know that they mean well, but somehow, those folks end up making a mess of things. How else can you explain that, a few years ago, the federal prison here in Terre Haute (That’s French for “Assume the position.”) housed three ex-governors of Illinois all at the same time.

This may just be a rumor, but I have heard that of the 30,000 coyotes in Illinois – half of them are already registered to vote in Chicago.

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

5 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday March 24, 2015

  1. Anonymous on said:

    LMAO after reading, still chuckling when I think about what you bestowed upon your Fans this morning!! This one is a Classic, Johnny! The T-S here in Tear Hut would most assuredly benefit if they ran your column. Most assuredly their Subsribers would. Naturally, if they asked it would be your choice. Maybe you wouldn’t want that(?). More people need to read these daily experiences of yours, and others you speak of, places and things. However, no-one could, or will, enjoy them more than I do!!

    Like

  2. You have such an engaging sense of humor…your posts are a pleasure to read, whatever the subject matter.
    I’m an old country girl who knows very well what a big mistake it is putting guns into idiot’s hands and telling them to go after coyotes. No telling what those morons will mow down. So many people have no idea how far a bullet can travel.

    Like

  3. I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. Some days I plan it all out in detail – then other days it is what crosses my mind when I’m at the computer.

    I’m just an old comedian/actor and what I write tends to match how I talk. I’m enjoying it all and I hope the readers do as well.

    Thanks,

    John

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: