What Is The Cure For Freezer Burn?

WE REALLY ENJOYED WATCHING THE OLYMPICS. The Thrill of Victory. The Agony of Defeat and all that. The Unleashing of Whackos Worldwide.

The Games have been held in Korea – not exactly down the block for us here in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “Where can I buy a tutu?”). Getting from this part of the world to that part can be expensive and time consuming, so we decided to stay home and watch it all on the TV.

No so for one guy.

What gets into the mind of a man who, from the pictures I’ve seen, (My eyes! My eyes!) is in his fifties, that convinces him to insert himself onto the world stage wearing only a sock monkey on his hoo-hoo and a pink tutu?

There is no good answer to that question. Any answer would have to be part of a diagnostic case file.

I haven’t heard where the fellow is from. He looks European or American – a real Anglo-Saxon who does not suffer from Anorexia.

This globe-trotting lunatic gathered his outfit, flew to Korea and, wearing breakaway clothing like a stripper, managed to get past Security and onto the ice at the Speed Skating venue. He then ripped off his outer clothes and danced around in his tutu and sock puppet on his monkey until he was finally apprehended. Once he hit the ice, he hit the ice. It was about three seconds into his Short Program when he slipped and planted his face onto the ice. Being determined, and in the true Olympic Spirit, he hauled his bare butt up and continued to perform.

I have heard of a man who has been around for several years posing in a pink tutu. That fellow

started doing it to make his wife laugh as she was fighting cancer. The guy in Korea was not that guy. Posing for funny pictures was one thing, but the man on the ice decided to take that extra step – or “jete” in this case – and go for the gold.

It took several minutes before the so called Security forces would remove Mr. Tutu from the scene. As athletes were being interviewed on the air he could be seen dancing in the background. I think that the lack of resolve and efficient security may embolden the North Korean leader. Kim Jong Un might be thinking out loud.

“Where can I get 100,000 pink tutus and sock monkeys? We could just dance into Seoul.”

Imagine hordes of North Korean soldiers storming across the DMZ wearing pink tutus and sock puppets. American and South Korean forces would be frozen in doubt.

“You grab them. I ain’t gonna put my hands on them. You want me to tackle a naked guy in a tutu and sock puppet? I ain’t going first.”

This fellow brought the Olympics to a screeching halt for a few minutes. It was obvious that he had no concealed weapons. On his bare chest was written in English “Peace and Love.” It’s hard to argue against that, but I think that there must be a better way to spread his message.

Maybe if he had tried all of this over at the Ski Jump Hill?

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