Mutton, Mutton, Who’s Got The Mutton?

SHEEP. I DON’T THINK THEY LIKE ME

I can’t swear to it, but just across the road from where we are staying, near Westport in county Mayo, there are lots of sheep and they are looking at me funny.

When we first pulled up to the house there must have been about 100 quiet and docile sheep grazing away and ignoring everything else – UNTIL.

Until I started to help unload the car. A few wooly heads lifted from the grass to watch.

I’m a friendly sort so, when I saw my new neighbors looking my way, I waved and said, “Hiya, Sheep.” That was it. Nothing insulting or inflammatory. All I said was, “Hiya, Sheep,” and the sheep answered back with a barrage of bleats that sounded most unneighborly, even threatening.. I could understand their attitude if I had stood there and yelled the two words you never want to say to a sheep, “Mint Jelly.” But I’m not that kind of guy. I might think about doing something like that, but – No.

Those sheep were raising their voices and had started moving toward the road that separated us. That unnerved me and I skedaddled into the house before we had an international and interspecies incident on our hands and hoofs.

The sheep appeared to calm down –UNTIL. Until I went back outside to get into the car and go grocery shopping. Then the whole routine started all over again. This time I didn’t say a word – Nothing, Nada, Squat. The sheep started dissing me again and giving me some serious Evil Eye.

The next morning, when I peeked out of the front window the sheep were on station, back in the pasture being sheep, but none of them were moving. It was like they were all posing for a painting. They were not moving, but about a dozen of the biggest, toughest looking, likely to be carrying weapons, sheep were posing so as to look directly at our front door. I might have ignored it all if it hadn’t been for the one sheep that was moving – a distraction I think.

This one sheep was doing something quite odd, I think. I don’t know much about sheep and this may have been completely normal – but I have my doubts.

This one critter, I’ll call him Ringo to protect his identity, was in constant motion. He was walking around in circles – nonstop. The other sheep ignored him. While I stood there watching, Ringo, must have made twenty loops around the other sheep. He had a sort of “John Wayne” walk – a bit of swagger, with his head turned a bit to one side and with the threat of either falling over or punching the nearest sheep that got in his way. It gave me the feeling that I was being set up for something nasty.

I don’t know why these sheep have been acting this way toward me. We have never met before yesterday, I never dated one, even casually. All I do know is that if it comes down to a real confrontation I’m coming in armed with a Jumbo sized bottle of Woolite.

Until then when we go out tomorrow I may toss a raincoat over my head to fool them. After all they are nothing more than “Area Rugs” with feet, right? Sheep?

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