Scream, No Sugar
THE USUAL SUSPECTS WERE DEEP in meditative thought on Friday morning in the Chapel at St. Arbucks when the High Priest (Manager) dropped a bombshell on us. It seems that, following corporate policy, our Chapel will be closing for about two weeks in November. The Bigwigs in Seattle like to remodel every ten years.
I have no problem with the idea of remodeling – it’s just that…
Whatever will we do?
Wherever shall we go for those two weeks?
I now know how Scarlett O’Hara felt when she had to leave Tara
When the Manager told us about it the world fell silent. Birds stopped chirping in the trees. Babies everywhere stopped crying. My Facebook crashed. Someone finally spoke up saying, “It’s the End of Days.” Maybe that’s just what I heard. I think he actually said, “Cool, the joint’s been lookin’ kind of frumpy.”
What he said really is kind of true. I just hope that it is not looking “kind of frumpy” because of our presence on an almost daily basis. To a large degree this store is a college hangout/study hall and the youngest of the Usual Suspects is 53 years old. Of course, head to head, I think we could take ‘em. We are older and know all the dirty tricks. In Differential Calculus though I’d give them a slight edge – they wouldn’t need Spell Check to get that right.
One of our group was a touch irate, suggesting that they just might want to get rid of us squatting in the corner most mornings. I told him that if that was the case all they’d have to do is drop a few Ex-Lax into his Venti Mocha for a couple of days and he’d be back to visiting with Ronald the Clown who lives down the block.
I guess fate is fate. They are going to remodel. It will be closed for a while and then there will be a glorious Grand Reopening with balloons, music and baristas fresh from Caffeine Rehab. I just get iced coffee, but those people behind the counter down shots of espresso like they were M&Ms. By mid afternoon some of them are so wired you could send Morse Code on them.
Let’s be honest though. Closing this St. Arbucks, for even two weeks is going to be a bit of an upheaval. There are solutions.
There are two other St. Arbucks here in Terre Haute (That’s French for “You can’t get decaf at 2 in the afternoon.). Both of those Chapels are on the other side of town. In LA that would mean a three hour drive, but here that is no more than 15 minutes away – but it’s the principle of the thing – sort of.
I suggested that, for the duration of the remodeling, we adjourn to a locally owned coffee place that is about two blocks away. They make good coffee, they are open early and they have enough room in there so that if someone felt the urge to do some interpretive dancing it wouldn’t be disruptive. That last factor might be a big selling point with the Usual Suspects – Artistic bunch that they are.
This November will be one of those times that try men’s souls. It will be tough. It will call upon us to gird our loins (metaphorically) and to carry on.
This will not be easy for a group of guys who, if this place served alcohol, would be called “Barflies.”