I’m Putting My Foot Down!
SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE! This is just getting out of hand! I’m putting my foot down! Both of them even…otherwise I might fall over and doing that in public makes it hard for me to be taken seriously.
What has me worked up into such a lather? It is The Usual Suspects.
Every morning I share coffee and conversation with a cast of characters I call “The Usual Suspects.” They are a collection of retired geezers and others who stumble through and join in the repartee. For several years the topics of our early morning gatherings have never gotten more serious than, “Why does The Lone Ranger wear a powder blue outfit in the Old West?”
I can handle that at 6 AM with coffee in hand but anything more relevant or serious has been strictly verboten. Discussing something like The Masked Man’s wardrobe doesn’t require more than basic brain cell activity. However…in recent days things have begun to change.
I don’t know how or why, but recently the Usual Suspects have begun to creep into more reality based and, dare I say it, academic questions. I’m sorry, but at that time of day I can’t handle it without pharmaceutical support. I feel that anything that requires more and deeper knowledge than can be found in the TV Guide is too much.
Who knows what possessed them the other day, when I wasn’t looking, to start discussing “What has been Mankind’s Greatest Invention?” There is no way to answer that question. It is all a matter of opinion no matter what anyone gives as an answer. It cannot be dealt with, no matter how sincere one tries to be, even a molecule of objectivity.
To one person the answer might be the Can Opener while to another person the answer is obviously the Zipper and a third might say the Airplane or even Peanut Butter.
An entire morning was wasted trying to answer that nebulous question. There is no answer, just opinion. And my opinion is that we need to stop that kind of question before breakfast. Maybe after some sausage and eggs, but not before, for Pete’s sake.
I’m going to stand up and loudly complain the next time one of The Usual Suspects tries to get academic on me. I don’t want mental exercise before my coffee has had the chance to kick in. I want mindless chatter…a lot like this blog posting. Reading this doesn’t require a level of education above a 4th grade level. To display anything above that is just showing off.
To assure that there will not be any backsliding into intelligent recourse in our morning discussions I intend to compile a list of acceptable and superbly inane topics.
Whatever happened to Topo Gigio after Ed Sullivan Died?
Does Peanut Butter Need To Be Refrigerated?
What’s The Best Way To Get Rid Of Raccoons Other Than Wolves?
Stick Shift and Cursive Writing – Yes Or No?
If we can find answers to questions like these we can have spirited discourse without actually coming to any meaningful conclusions. Even if we do come to a definite conclusion – Who Cares?