Look Into My Eyes
By this time tomorrow I will have a brand spankin’ new lens in my left eye. Then for the next two weeks I will see better in that eye and still see crappy in the other.
There are three ways of dealing with it
A) Take off your glasses and go commando
B) Some people just poke out the left lens in their glasses and go with just the one lens – The Uber Nerd Look.
C) My third option would be to go on wearing my old glasses and see the world as fuzzy and askew. Well, that’s pretty much what I have right now.
I offered the doctor a fourth option. He liked it, but couldn’t recommend it : Fly to Hawaii, live on the beach and knock back a row of Piña Coladas. I would feel much warmer. My vision would still be blurry, but with a good cause.
The way the weather has been so far this month I have to admit that the world hasn’t been much to look at anyway. When we got back from Texas it was minus 9 degrees below zero. It took me three days to bother venturing out. I had serious Cabin Fever and if I didn’t get some coffee in me I was in danger of going Viking and start hallucinating. Visions of Thor and his Mr. Coffee Hammer pounding on my forehead wouldn’t solve anything and might have my wife, the lovely and Non- Nordic beauty, Dawn, locking one of us in the bathroom.
I’ll be glad when this eye business is over. For the last year I have been looking at the TV like my glasses were made from unwashed grape jelly jars.
My only disappointment in this cataract business is that I won’t get to wear an eye patch. When the nurse told me that no eye patches were involved I had to scrap some well thought out plans. I had already made contact with someone who could supply me with a patch bearing a lovely Skull and Crossbones motif.
There went that fantasy.
Dawn was let down a bit too because she had a very nice design for a patch with the San Francisco Giants logo on it. I dunno. I may wear it anyway just for the effect.
I will write more about this eyeball adventure. I know that it bothers some of you when I get into the details, but look at it this way – If someday you have to go through this same procedure you will have a bit of advanced knowledge of what to expect. Of course that’s true only if you look at the world from the same slightly twisted point of view as me. Good luck on that.
Even if I don’t get to enjoy any of the more fun filled aspects of surgery I will at least be able to take that long white cane off of the Toyota.