Who Is Having A Baby?
RONNIE WOOD OF THE ROLLING STONES IS EXPECTING A BABY? No. He and his wife are expecting twins. Ronnie is 68.
The other day I was having a conversation down at St. Arbucks with one of the Usual Suspects about Ronnie Wood – daddy to be.
My guess is that Ronnie has been itching to top Mick Jagger at something for a long time. Ronnie fathers a child at 68 while Mick’s youngest joined the world when Mick was 56.
Sorry, Ronnie, but Mick, born in 1943, is a great-grandfather. Mick wins.
Old guys having babies with much younger women seems to be the “in” thing with celebs. Sir 
Paul McCartney had to go out and buy Sippy cups at age 70. I guess this proves that Paul is not dead. (Those of you under 50 – look it up.)
I’m in favor of love, but these young women hooking up with, let’s be honest; a bunch of Geezers is mystifying. I’m hoping there is more to it than “Last Will and Testament Love.”
I’ve heard of “May – December” romances, but some of these are more like “May of 1990 – December of 1940.”
If it is really love in the classic sense then the women must be hiding their eyeglasses when in public. For example – new fathers:
Woody Allen at 77
Nick Nolte at 72
Larry King at 69
Hugh Hefner at 87
And the list goes on. Well, it could go on, but I don’t want to type that much. Oh, OK, one more.
Pablo Picasso at age 90.
I don’t profess to be an Adonis, but Holy Macaroni – what woman in her right mind would want to – well, you know. My mind is officially boggled.
Having a baby at 87, like Hugh Hefner, can really cause confusion.
“Uh, Oh – somebody needs their diaper changed. Which one of you is it?”
While we were having this conversation over coffee at 8:30 AM one of the young female Baristas walked over to where we were sitting.
This particular Barista is a 20 year old college student.
Suspect Number one asked her, “Would you ever consider marrying and having a child with a 70 year old Geezer?”
After she stopped spinning like a top I explained to her the gist of our conversation. We should have done that first, I suppose.
Her response was, to paraphrase, “Ewwww. No way.”
That pretty much sums up my opinion as well.
Why would I want to be in a long term relationship with someone 50 years younger than me? With this young Barista, the only thing we have in common is that we both know her grandfather. If we were having a conversation about the Presidential Election, for example, and I mentioned JFK, she would have to either Google him, or download the movie. Anything earlier in time and she would draw a blank.
It’s not a good thing if the wife gets carded while trying to buy a beer and the husband gets carded at Denny’s trying to get something from the “Senior Menu.”
Having a parent with white hair and a walker going to a parent/teacher conference in a Middle School could be awkward.
“No, I’m not his ‘Grampa,’
I can’t even imagine Woody Allen taking his kid to the park to throw around a Frisbee.
“Oh, sorry Junior. Can somebody pick that up for me? What a mishigas!”
I think that it is important that two people with children be relatively close in age or it turns into a caretaker situation. Rocker Rod Stewart became a fat
her again at age 68. Can you see it a few years down the road?
“Junior, go outside and play – and, while you are up, take your father for a roll. Remember though – his gurney is not a skateboard. No ‘hanging ten’ off of Daddy.”
Down the Hall on Your Left 
Well…….that’s certainly different from your past installments. And, that’s good. Refreshing – “Good To The Last Drop” – “State Farm Is There”. All these people have good lawyers I presume, and are keeping them up-to-date. 🙂
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Lawyers for sure. But skimping on shrinks.
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