Whatever Will We Do? Wherever Will We Go?
IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME since I’ve written about St. Arbucks.
St. Arbucks, the Chapel of the Patron Saint of Jittery People is where I officially start my day about nine days a week.
When I arrive I pull into a parking space and stumble into the Chapel and beg a coffee from one of the Barista/Acolytes who run the joint. With my coffee in hand I take my place in the pew next to the other regular worshippers – AKA “The Usual Suspects.”
The daily litany will cover a variety of topics: Sports, Cars, Old TV shows, and miscellaneous aches and pains. This last topic gets a lot of attention because the average age of the worshippers in our corner is somewhere between 65 and “Dust Unto Dust.”
The one thing that is taboo is Politics. We don’t talk about anything dealing with Politics or Politicians. Of course, there is always somebody who tries to steer things in that direction. When that happens I will interject a short prayer that goes, “How about them Cubbies!” That usually brings that Political Heresy stuff to a screeching halt. Amen.
Recently, word filtered down from the St. Arbucks version of the Vatican – Seattle, that the Chapel will be undergoing a complete remodeling in the very near future. This has resulted in much weeping and gnashing of teeth, both natural and false, amongst the worshippers.
When they begin the remodeling it will call for the Chapel to be closed for about eight weeks.
Wherever will we go? Whatever will we do?
There is fear that this eight weeks of emptiness will result in a Diaspora of the Suspects. Scattered to the wind there are those who fear we will never gather again. Truth be told, there are some people who are counting on that.
It’s not like there aren’t viable options for the Suspects. There is a perfectly serviceable Coffee hole a mere four or five blocks away. “Java Haute” is locally owned, bigger than our St. Arbucks, open longer hours, and has more parking, but – while there were other women living four or five blocks from your childhood home – none of them were Mom. At least, that’s my guess.
There are two and a half other St. Arbucks here in Terre Haute. (That’s French for, “Why are you remodeling?”) I say two and a half because I find it hard to give full status to the Mini-Chapel inside the Indiana State University Bookstore. The two full-size Chapels of St. Arbucks are located on the south side of town (A whopping 10 – 15 minute drive), but it’s the principle of the thing. While they are not far by some standards, in this town I would pack a lunch before heading out on my trek.
We have been told that it is “Company Policy” to remodel stores every 10 years. Thank God the Vatican in Rome doesn’t have that policy or they would be paying contractors invoices into the next millennium – from the last two.
As I cast my eyes about the Chapel I am lost as to what kind of changes they can actually make here. It is not a big space to begin with and, sitting as it does in the corner of a large parking lot, there is no room for any expansion…Unless they add a second floor! Eureka! That is the way to approach this whole megillah – you can’t grow out, so grow UP! A rooftop garden with beach umbrellas and Cabana Boys delivering the drinks. In winter, cover it over, add a few NFL style sideline heaters and pipe in a little Jimmy Buffett. The merriment continues unabated.
Is this a positively smashing idea or what?
The next time “The Suits” from Corporate are in town I intend to buttonhole them and make my pitch.
“Picture if you will, gentlemen/ladies – a St. Arbucks that will make headlines worldwide. A location that is both in town, convenient to all, and a special getaway to the beach.
“Where else can the coffee lover go to get that morning starter on the way to work and then stop again on the way home for a relaxing ‘toes in the sand’ experience? Only one place I know, gentlemen/ladies –
‘St. Arbucks on the Wabash.’
“It has a nice ring to it, does it not?”
I think we have a winner here. If they do their precious mandatory “remodeling” and follow my plan I would be willing to suffer through the eight weeks of making do elsewhere. I think the Usual Suspects would buy in on this as well. It is a Win-Win Situation.
Work with me, People!