Taxes On The Spin Cycle
THE WORLD IS MADE OF PEOPLE, THINGS, AND EVENTS. Sometimes it can be difficult to tell one from another. Which is it? Am I reacting to the person, what I am seeing, or what is going down? I guess the reality is that, in most cases, it is a combination of the three.
Such is one unusual thing that happened to me in, of all places, the neighborhood laundromat. The laundromat is not my usual haunt. I don’t think I have any “usual” haunts just a bunch of verifiably “Unusual” ones.
In the classic Division of Labor in our home it is my task to do the laundry. I don’t mind it. The machine does all of the hard work. I just do the lifting. I’d not be as happy if doing the laundry meant dragging it all down to the river and beating my shorts on a flat rock.
So…on a recent Monday I filled up the Toyota and went to the “Washer World” laundry and dry cleaning establishment. Both “Gimp Spots” were already taken so I had to; literally, drag everything across the parking lot and into the building. I spotted a row of available washing machines. My plan was to use about four washers to get it all done quickly.
I dragged my heavy bag of dirty duds down to the first washing machine and struggled a bit to lift it all off the ground. It was at that point that things began to go weird on me. As I was grunting and trying to keep it all from spilling out of the bag I heard a voice. I stopped and turned in the direction of the voice. I saw there a very nice older lady who looked rather frail. She smiled and asked me, “Can I help you in any way?” A sweet voice.
I was taken aback by her question and, reverting to my quick response reflex I smiled back at her and answered her.
“Well – would you like to do my taxes for me?”
“Oh.” What else could I add that wouldn’t make things worse?
Sitting nearby was another woman who seemed to be wrapped up in her newspaper. When I made the wiseacre remark about my taxes this second woman started to laugh out loud. Things were sliding downhill. I had to try to salvage some dignity for someone.
I moved over to the folding table where the kind lady had retreated.
“Please let me thank you for your very kind offer of help me. It took me by surprise and I just said the first thing that popped into my mind. I want to apologize if I upset you.”
Her kind smile returned and she extended her hand to me. Not knowing when to quit I reached out, took her hand…I bowed and kissed her hand.
All I had planned on doing that Monday was to get some clean clothes and towels. Instead I scared a kind lady and turned into a 16th century doofus.
I need to stop watching those old swashbuckler movies before leaving the house.