Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

Archive for the category “Nutrition”

I Am Leftovers

food1YOU WOULD THINK THAT AN ENTIRE WEEKEND would be enough time to recover, but I still feel like that beached whale. I am still giving thanks – only now it is thanks that I’m still alive, having survived my gluttony.

By this time of life I should know better and be more into a Zen-like state where I don’t engage all of my senses in a spate of overdoing it at the dinner table.

“Oh, Grasshopper, you are personally responsible for the famine in Asia. Because of you millions of people will go to bed without any pumpkin pie. The children will never know the meaning of Kool-Whip.”

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Meanwhile …Down At The Mini-Mart

pickle2I STOPPED IN AT THE LOCAL GAS STATION/MINI-MART the other day. I was on a mission from Dawn. My objective was your standard 739 oz. size Dr. Pepper.

As I stood there waiting for the cup to fill my attention wandered like a fruit fly. Down near the bottom of the large cooler case, alongside all of the cold beverages, I spotted something I had never seen before – a display offering me a snack item that promised me that it was, “The perfect junk food alternative with no calories, no carbs, no cholesterol, gluten-free, and absolutely no fat!”

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Trick Or Treat!

candy1HALLOWEEN IS HARD UPON US and five times a day people are asking me what I’m doing for Halloween. They don’t like it when I tell them.

If I was nine years old today I would do what I did then in 1955. I’d rub some burnt cork on my face for a beard, make an eyepatch from a piece of fabric from my mother’s sewing supplies, and tie a red bandana around my hear – Instant Pirate!, and then I’d go annoy everyone in the neighborhood for some candy.

But I’m not nine years old, so my plans are different.

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A Treatise on Lunch

giphyWHY I THINK OF SUCH THINGS I DO NOT KNOW. I certainly could find a better use for my remaining brain cells. There are days when I worry that my gray matter is slipping away by the cup full. Those days are usually Mondays.

The substance of my obsessive thoughts for today is: Lunch

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I Liked Chad the Pilot

IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME since I’ve flown on Southwest Airlines. Their schedules and ours just never seemed to coincide. When we wanted to go to Florida they wanted us to go to Phoenix. When we wanted to go to Phoenix they had a nifty plane ready to whisk us off to sunny Anchorage. I couldn’t tell if they didn’t really want us or if they were just playing hard to get. Those little teasers.

Then, out of the clear blue of the western sky all of the pieces fell into place. We wanted to go to Texas and Southwest said, “OK, just once, but don’t think this means we’re easy. We’re not that kind of airline.”

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It’s Only Fair. 

fairIT IS AUGUST IN THE MIDWEST. That can mean only one thing: State Fairs and Deep Fried Food. OK, I guess that’s two things, but who’s counting?

When the gates to the fairgrounds open some people will head to the livestock exhibits, some will rush to get their seats for the entertainment shows, but thousands will head right to the food midway so they can see what’s new on this year’s menu – and there is always something new.

If there is a way to deep fry it – into the fryer it will go.

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A Tasty Dream

ASHE HAD A GREAT IDEA LAST NIGHT.

We were having dinner, polishing off some leftover roast as “Pork Manhattan.”

For the first fifteen minutes there was complete silence as we stuffed our faces – then my wife, the lovely and entrepreneurially minded, Dawn, unleashed a thunderbolt of an idea.

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I Need To Expand My Menu

1I DID NOT EAT CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I did not do that for several reasons – Number one – It is as authentic an Irish dish as Couscous and Lumpia. That meal is an American invention. How it came to be associated with St. Patrick’s Day I have no idea, but there will be no foisting it off on the fine folks of Ireland.

Reason number two – I think it is a terrible, foul smelling way to destroy my appetite 2as well as the corned beef that, by all rights, should belong, thinly sliced, on a slab of a nice dark rye bread with mustard and a “glass tea.”

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Veni, Vidi, I Had A Pizza

pizza poll 3PIZZA IS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR FOODS in this country. In MY world it is at the very top of the menu. I know that there are better foods, in a nutritional sense, but there is more to life than sprouts and arugula with a kale chaser.

Recently the highly esteemed Harris Polling Company asked America, “How do you like your pizza?”pizza poll 4

Somehow they missed me with this poll. If they had asked me this question I would have answered with a cheerful, “Within reach.” Giving that answer probably would have gotten me slapped around.

Other Americans answered as follows.

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Cereal Killer On The Loose

Coupons 2TOO MUCH EDUCATION CAN BE A DANGEROUS THING.

I know a person with a graduate degree in finance from an Ivy League school. He can squeeze so much value out of a dime that it makes FDR get up and walk.

Now, I like saving money as much as the next guy – maybe a bit more even. I grew up poor with cardboard in my shoes to cover the holes. Even today, at an overripe old age, I still wince whenever I spend money. But, the fellow of whom I speak has elevated money-saving to an Art.

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Lunch

Lunch 3

I’M HUNGRY. It’s time for lunch and it calls upon me to make one of the bigger decisions of my day.

How hungry I am is not a factor in my choice of what I’ll have. I try not to overdo it for two reasons: I don’t want to feel like an overstuffed sofa and I will be having dinner with my wife, the lovely and always tasteful, Dawn, in just a few hours. So, I usually have something “light” for lunch. What I have also depends on what condition my digestive tract is in. There are days when anything even remotely spicy would start a full-scale intestinal rebellion.

Lately, I have been having rice for lunch. It is not spicy and it does not trigger an internal Mt. St. Helen. It allows me to have an afternoon in places other than the bathroom.Lunch 1

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Has Anybody, Ever…

giphy-20IF YOU WANT TO BE AN INFORMED PERSON you have to pay attention to what is going on around you. You must be, to use the hip word du jour, “Proactive” and take the initiative to gather information and learn from it.

It’s not always easy.

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