Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

Archive for the category “Menu”

Going Back For Seconds 

turkey1A CRISIS HAS ARISEN.

For a number of years we have gone out for the traditional Thanksgiving Dinner. With just the three of us doing it all at home seemed to be more trouble than it was worth.

When we dined out we headed to a local hotel that put on a buffet worthy of the Roman Emperor’s Palace. There was enough of everything edible there that it would make the Front Line of the Chicago Bears faint dead away.

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The Panic in Plastic Cup Park

newbies“I HOPE YOU CAN GET SOME COFFEE MADE BY SOMEONE YOU KNOW.”

It sounds like I want to be served by a Groupie, doesn’t it? Not so.

That quote came from the lips of my wonderful wife, the lovely and tea sipping, Dawn, as I headed off to St. Arbucks this morning.

Her words came in response to my mild grumbling about having to deal with Baristas-in-training for the last few days.

Now, before you start to jump up and down on my allegedly elitist throat, let me explain the circumstances behind my curmudgeonosity.

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It’s Only Fair. 

fairIT IS AUGUST IN THE MIDWEST. That can mean only one thing: State Fairs and Deep Fried Food. OK, I guess that’s two things, but who’s counting?

When the gates to the fairgrounds open some people will head to the livestock exhibits, some will rush to get their seats for the entertainment shows, but thousands will head right to the food midway so they can see what’s new on this year’s menu – and there is always something new.

If there is a way to deep fry it – into the fryer it will go.

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Fiction Saturday – The Henway Chronicles – Continued

noir detective officeFiction Saturday – The Henway Chronicles

 

Late at night, when the Innocents in The City were asleep in their beds, the Not-So-Innocents were busy about their monkey business. The darkened streets were a hunting ground where the unwary became prey for the waiting shadows. Places of safety were few and far between, but a light shining through the fog promised refuge and maybe a Hot Roast Beef Sandwich, au jus – “just the way you like it.”

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Fiction Saturday – “The Henway Chronicles”

noir detective officeFiction Saturday

The Henway Chronicles – Continue…

 

Wilma Van der Sluice served the best German Chocolate Cake this side of the cafeteria at the Mortuary College. When she set down her last slice in front of me both my eyes and mouth began to water.

“New perfume, Wilma?”

  “Yeah, you like it? It’s called ‘Evening in Newark.’” She waved her two too massive braids my way. My glasses began to fog up.

“Nice.” It was all I could say.

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A Tasty Dream

ASHE HAD A GREAT IDEA LAST NIGHT.

We were having dinner, polishing off some leftover roast as “Pork Manhattan.”

For the first fifteen minutes there was complete silence as we stuffed our faces – then my wife, the lovely and entrepreneurially minded, Dawn, unleashed a thunderbolt of an idea.

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I Need To Expand My Menu

1I DID NOT EAT CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. I did not do that for several reasons – Number one – It is as authentic an Irish dish as Couscous and Lumpia. That meal is an American invention. How it came to be associated with St. Patrick’s Day I have no idea, but there will be no foisting it off on the fine folks of Ireland.

Reason number two – I think it is a terrible, foul smelling way to destroy my appetite 2as well as the corned beef that, by all rights, should belong, thinly sliced, on a slab of a nice dark rye bread with mustard and a “glass tea.”

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Veni, Vidi, I Had A Pizza

pizza poll 3PIZZA IS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR FOODS in this country. In MY world it is at the very top of the menu. I know that there are better foods, in a nutritional sense, but there is more to life than sprouts and arugula with a kale chaser.

Recently the highly esteemed Harris Polling Company asked America, “How do you like your pizza?”pizza poll 4

Somehow they missed me with this poll. If they had asked me this question I would have answered with a cheerful, “Within reach.” Giving that answer probably would have gotten me slapped around.

Other Americans answered as follows.

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Come To Indiana For A Slice

Pie 1ALL CULINARY INFORMATION COMES FROM THE AUTO CLUB.

Every month I can count on our “letter carrier” cramming the Auto Club’s magazine into our mailbox along with the usual mass of catalogs, political drivel, and other ads – and the occasional letter.

A week or so ago the latest edition of the Auto Club magazine had an article called, “Indiana’s Pie Trail.” It listed seventeen places in Indiana where you could get a good piece of pie. None of these places were in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “Would you like some pie?”). I’m sure this is taken as a personal slur by the folks who run a café here called, “The Pie Company.”

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Lunch

Lunch 3

I’M HUNGRY. It’s time for lunch and it calls upon me to make one of the bigger decisions of my day.

How hungry I am is not a factor in my choice of what I’ll have. I try not to overdo it for two reasons: I don’t want to feel like an overstuffed sofa and I will be having dinner with my wife, the lovely and always tasteful, Dawn, in just a few hours. So, I usually have something “light” for lunch. What I have also depends on what condition my digestive tract is in. There are days when anything even remotely spicy would start a full-scale intestinal rebellion.

Lately, I have been having rice for lunch. It is not spicy and it does not trigger an internal Mt. St. Helen. It allows me to have an afternoon in places other than the bathroom.Lunch 1

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We Who Are About To Dine, Salute You

turkey cannibal

TODAY IS THE DAY AFTER THANKSGIVING – the day when people everywhere in this country are sleeping off an overdose of Tryptophan.

Turkey meat is chock full of tryptophan – a glorious endorphin that can make us relaxed, drowsy, and missing the second half of that football game we had planned on watching.

The guests who were invited to join in the dining event have all gone home, many with plates full of sliced turkey and stuffing in hand – “Care Packages” we used to call them.

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Hey, Butterball!

Brace yourself, America! It’s that time of year again when,a39f71f4-51bf-4f24-8b9e-4fe70b5801cb all across the country, people will be preparing Thanksgiving Turkey Dinners by the millions.

For most it will be a joyous chore to feed family and friends, but for many it will be a challenge comparable to trying to fly to the moon in a lawn chair powered by some helium balloons from the dollar store.

Despair not, help is available!

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Move Over Cap’n Crunch

crunchI DROPPED IN AT ST. ARBUCKS this morning. I was going for coffee, but my wife, the lovely and perceptive, Dawn, said that I was going for my “Play Group.” I promised to behave and to drink my milk before nap time.

Yeah, right.

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