“Little Krafty Sunshine”

 

EVERY SUMMER I ENJOY SITTING OUTSIDE in the sunshine even if it is hot and humid. Call me crazy. OK! OK! No need to do so with such enthusiasm. It was a rhetorical thingy anyway. A simple nod of agreement would have been sufficient.

No matter your opinion, it is a fact – I like the hot and humid days of summer. Do I sweat? Sure I do, like a nun in a whorehouse, but all I can tell you is that it all feels good on my skin. It physically feels good.

I have mentioned this to my Doctors and they just look at me and shrug,

It’s A Sign

I SAW A SURE SIGN THAT SUMMER IS APPROACHING. When I pulled up outside the Gas Station/Mini-Mart there was a new sign in the window.

Being the Smarty Pants that I have been since birth, (And possibly before according to what my mother told me one day after she had downed a couple glasses of wine.) when I went in to get a Dr. Pepper for Dawn, I had something to say.

The Odds Are…Odder Than Most

Well, plans for Christmas are now in place. We will be flying down to Texas and spending  a week or so visiting with Family. I can’t think of a better way to spend the Holidays. OK – maybe hitting the jackpot on the lottery while there would be better, but the odds are not in our favor.

My wife, the lovely and optimistic, Dawn will go for a “Quick Pick” lottery ticket on occasion. She doesn’t do it all the time. She has standards – the jackpot has to be at least $100 Million Dollars or it’s not worth the investment of a dollar bill. I can’t argue with that. It really is a game of “Go big or go home,” so she goes big and then goes home anyway.

You Give Me Fever

IT LOOKS LIKE THAT OLD LOTTERY FEVER has hit again in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “No matter what I do it won’t scratch off.”).

The “Mega-Millions” jackpot is about to cross a mathematical minefield. As of a few days ago the top prize will be more than half a billion dollars. Of course, that is before taxes. After all of the various governmental zombies have taken their cut the net will be about $19.95.

“But wait! There’s more!”

And The Winning Numbers Aren’t !

ALONG WITH MILLIONS OF OTHERS WE CAN SAY THAT WE DIDN’T WIN THE LOTTERY.

One and a half billion dollars – whew! What a pile.

We did have a ticket and the way I figured it our odds were 50/50 – we either would win it or we wouldn’t. That didn’t help much.

Some other folks won the jackpot, so the pressure is off. Let those other guys deal with all the attorneys and accountants. Let them figure out what to do with all of those previously unknown relatives that will be popping up like mushrooms after a rain. I hope they can feed them all. I recommend casseroles.

“A billion here, a billion there…sooner or later it adds up to real money.” — Senator Everett Dirksen

I JUST FINISHED CHECKING our lottery ticket to see if we had suddenly become the Nouveau Riche while sitting in the corner at St. Arbucks.

We didn’t.

I Could Use A Half Billion Dollars, Thank You

THIS PAST WEDNESDAY the Powerball Lottery drawing Grand Prize had reached 500 million dollars. Wow! Half a billion dollars! That would keep you off of food stamps for a while.

For reasons I’m still not sure of, the State Lottery Commission decided that the drawing needed some additional allure. They set up a publicity stunt here in Terre Haute. I guess they felt that the smell of all that money wasn’t enough.