I Am Not The Pope
THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY INTERRUPTIONS!
This morning I slid into my usual writing/coffee slurping position at a little ahead of the Big Hand telling me it was 6 AM and before I could take a sip the parade of characters began.
The usual early morning collection of non-entities was not meeting today. Some were out of town. Some were out of their minds and some were out on a limb somewhere. The leftovers decided to come and visit with me “for just a minute or two.” An hour later I have been made privy to their life story and their plans for the weekend.
I don’t care.
One visitor finally got up and left only to return ten minutes later because he’d left his phone at my table hidden beneath a crumpled napkin. Suspicious, no?
I swear, some days I feel like I am trapped in a Pre-School “Time Out” Corner. One after another people came over to where I was in the corner to chat. I’m trying to work (This is actually work), but everyone must think I look lonely.
The look on my face at that early an hour is as good as it gets. I’m sorry, but at this early even I admit that I look like a lost dog…or a lost sheep…or just lost.
As I sat there a young gal who works at the nearby Kroger supermarket came by, walked over to where I was being made to listen to another life story, and asked, “Which of you gentlemen is going to buy me a coffee?”
I was in no mood for questioning.
“That would be the gentleman who is taking you to Las Vegas for the weekend. Tell your hubby he is not invited.”
She turned and walked away.
Another person came over and sat down. Double-teaming me. At that rate it’ll be noon before I get anything done. I had planned on being witty, erudite, or at least coherent, but it looked more like I was going to end up merely caffeinated.
I really couldn’t understand why this was happening. It was like I was caught up in a Papal Audience in The Vatican. I’ve never been there and I checked to make sure I wasn’t dressed all in white. I can’t offer Indulgences or Papal Dispensations. I don’t even have any coupons good for a free blessing.
There came a time when I thought that the flood had ebbed. I was alone. I picked up my pen, closed my eyes to visualize something clever. When I opened my eyes …there was someone I barely knew sitting across the table from me.
“Hi, John. Do you have a minute?”
I think I am finally beginning to understand why Hermits live in those caves on the tops of mountains. If someone wants to talk with them they have to be prepared to climb up to the cave. Since I don’t have a mountain handy perhaps I could install an electric fence. Now all I have to do is convince St. Arbucks to go along….and to pay for it.