Merge, Merge, Merge

 

“LANE ENDS ONE MILE. GOOD LUCK.”

I’ve been doing a lot of driving lately on our illustrious Interstate Highway System. It’ll really be nice once they are finished with it. It seems that no matter where I go or in which direction I am faced with long slow moving lines of cars all wedged into one lane.

The System was started back in the 1950s. President Eisenhower, a career military man, saw the maze of roads as a way to quickly transport troops across the country in case of an emergency. It’s a good thing that there was no call to do that because, if today’s roadways are any indication, we would be in deep doo-doo (Technical term meaning ‘Uh Oh’).

I do understand that a vast network of roads such as the Interstate Highways is under constant stress from all of the traffic and the need for nonstop maintenance. I really do.

Now, if someone could come up with a way to keep all of the idiots, bad drivers, and…well, actually that would be enough right there to keep me fat and happy. I’m already fat so it shouldn’t be all that hard.

Having to deal with the idiots and bad drivers on the road every day is enough to make Joe Namath look excited about Medicare.

Those people drive me crazy (Pun intended) when I am on the road trying to get somewhere. I can understand playing fast and loose with some traffic laws, but being courteous should count for something. But it doesn’t. My prime example of this is what happens when the road signs pop up that read,

“Road Construction Ahead

Lane ends One Mile

Merge Right”

We’ve all been there. Those orange barrels start to appear and everybody moves into the right lane – except for a small coven of drivers who figure that their best bet is to speed up in the left lane as it disappears and then try to wedge into the already clogged right lane. They are counting on the “Kindness of Strangers” just like Scarlett O’Hara in “Gone With The Wind” to let them squeeze in – slowing everything even more.

Well, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

On a recent drive to Cincinnati I saw that, more often than not, the cars in the right lane were banding together, getting nose to tail, and not letting in those drivers from the left lane.

I admit that letting those cars to cut in line would be the kind thing to do I suppose, but it would also be letting those rude drivers to thumb their collective noses at all of those folks who followed the road signs directives. I am surprised that there haven’t been incidents of Road Rage where gunfire erupted.

Kindness is a good and wonderful thing, but kowtowing to insults and inconsideration is not a sign of virtue. Those road signs are there to ensure safe and orderly traffic flow. Those who ignore them are creating an unsafe and potentially dangerous situation.

I’m talking about this as a caveat. I’m going to be on the road again soon and if you see me in that long, slow moving right lane – pay attention. If you are in that left lane you are going to be there for awhile. Lighten up.

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