Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

It Puts The Remote In Remote Control

I’VE BEEN LEARNING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE LATELY: ENGLISH. Considering that English is already my first and primary language you wouldn’t think that I would need lessons – but I do.

My wife, the lovely and Queen of the Remote Control, Dawn, has us watching a number of TV shows from “Across the Pond,” most of which are Police and Cops N’ Robbers shows from England and Scotland. I didn’t know that the Scots were so into crime shows. I didn’t know that the Scots were into much of anything other than not being English.

We have been watching a show called “Shetland.” Shetland – like the ponies. In the foggy waters north of the Scottish mainland is a group of islands – The Shetland Islands. Apparently those islands are rife with crime, just like Cabot Cove on the old American series “Murder She Wrote.” Every week somebody is getting rubbed out.

“Shetland” is a very good show to the best of my knowledge. I would be surer in my estimation, but there is a problem. I usually have a good ear for accents, but the brogue of the people on Shetland is so thick that I cannot understand a darn thing. We have had to turn on the English subtitles feature so I can follow the storyline. Otherwise the show might as well be in Chinese or Klingon.

I’m not knocking the actors or their acting. They are all quite good – just unintelligible. It is like watching a very good Hungarian movie…in Hungarian.

I’m lost.

I have never been to the Shetland Islands. I’m not even sure how to get there. On the TV show whenever someone flies off from the airport they are going to Norway which seems to be closer than anyplace else one might go. Getting to the Shetland Islands is never a case of making a wrong turn and there you are. If you go there you have to really want to go there.

After having watched three seasons of “Shetland” I have determined that if you live there you are either a Farmer, a Fisherman, or a Cop. The Farmers raise cows, sheep, and barley. If you Fish you…fish, and if you are a Cop you do Cop stuff.

It’s a shame that the TV show called “Shetland” isn’t filmed there. A lot of it is filmed in Glasgow and even in Norway for cryin’ out loud. I think that may be this way because it’s hard to find actors who can find the Islands. When you consider that the biggest town in the Shetland Islands is “Lerwick” which has only 7000 people, there might be a dearth of Bars, Drug Treatment Clinics, and Therapists to deal with all of the cast and crew members of a major television production.

I don’t plan on ever going to Lerwick myself. I’ve learned that it is a 16 hour flight from Terre Haute (That’s French for “Look at the Pony.”) to Lerwick. Once you get there…well, there you are and there is not much to do except to turn around and go back to Terre Haute. Lerwick is not known for its Night Life.

To help me get more enjoyment out of the TV show I have been scouring the Amazon website looking for a Scottish to English Dictionary. So far all I’ve found is a DVD of old Sean Connery movies.

I’ll keep looking.

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