The Habit Of Love
I WAS IN A DISCUSSION THE OTHER DAY ABOUT GOOD HEALTHY HABITS. There was talk about eating the right things, seeing your Doctor regularly, and getting enough exercise. I can’t really argue with any of those things. They all come under the heading of “Duh!”
As this discussion went back and forth with people offering up their own special dietary favorites and exercise routines I sat on the sidelines. I was taking it all in, but not offering anything of my own. I was thinking. That can take some time. My brain has to warm up first. Trying to come up with an idea too soon and I could pull a lobe.
While I stood by listening to the others I noticed that all of their “Healthy Habits” had to do with the heath of their physical bodies, but none for their spirit or soul. That concerned me. My physical habits are generally pretty crappy so I try to take care of my Soul/Spirit/Being – whatever you want to call it.
After an appropriate amount of time I felt that I was ready to speak.
“I think that the Healthiest of all Habits is to Love. To be in love, to give your love. To be able to accept and take in the love from another.”
Well, Hell’s Bells, can I bring a discussion to a screeching halt or what?
I thought that what I said was reasonably easy to understand. I didn’t use any big words or toss in any French or Latin. Doing that is almost guaranteed to hit the Halt Button in mid breath.
I inserted my two cents and waited to note that the other people would either nod in agreement or do a spit take in stunned disagreement. I got neither. I got nothing. It was so quiet you could hear a metaphor drop.
All I’d said was that I thought that Love is healthy. There is statistical evidence that married people live longer than those who are unmarried. I can give you seven smarty-pants answers as to why, but it is a fact.
Love is good. Being in Love is like having a workout routine at the gym. There are things you do every day to get the results you desire. Being in Love doesn’t just happen. It takes effort.
Giving Love is not difficult. Kids do it all the time. Puppy Love is Love as sincere and undemanding as anything. It is given unreservedly to the often unaware object of that waterfall of Love.
Giving your Love is easy. Having it accepted is the hard part.
Being able to accept Love from another person is perhaps one of the more difficult things in life. People are leery of Love. They have been hurt before. They have had their love rejected or worse, ridiculed and stepped on. To accept Love from another requires lowering all of your defenses, making yourself completely vulnerable. That is so hard to do, but the reward is so unbelievably rich and rewarding. Oh, my God is it ever so?
Eventually a number of the people in this discussion quietly agreed with me. Some had tears in their eyes. Others smiled with faraway looks in their eyes.
“’I love you’ must be the most romantic words anyone can ever say,” said one gentleman.
I thought for a moment and then had to disagree. I had just returned from a trip out of town where I had been alone for almost a week. One night, on the phone, I heard two words that carried “I love you” and so many more within them that I found them to be an ultimately romantic expression of Love.