Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

Throwback Thursday From July 2016 – “The Good, The Bad, And The So-So”

Throwback Thursday From July 2016 –

The Good, The Bad, And The So-So

skill1

I’M GOOD AT GROCERY SHOPPING. I’M NOT GOOD AT DANCING.

Everybody has those little slices of life where they excel and others where they stink like the next morning in a fraternity house. No matter how hard we try to master a certain skill it evades us.

For example:

I can’t shuffle a deck of cards to save my life. Because of that deficit in my skills bank I have

skill2

never been employed in a casino as a dealer. I was once approached by a casino to work as an emcee/warm-up act. I didn’t get that job either. I think maybe they heard I couldn’t shuffle cards and it took the glow off of my charm and wit. I dunno.

While I can’t shuffle the cards I am somewhat adept at most card games. I think my ability, experience, and training for the stage help there. I’m a good bluffer.

I’m a “good” eater – too good – some people say. Being such a good eater has other skills that

skill3

come with the territory at which I am not so good. I am no better than “so-so” when it comes to dieting, and I’m downright “lousy” about exercising. I can’t ride a bike. I stink at walking, and I flat out refuse to engage in calisthenics.

To quote Clint Eastwood in one of his “Dirty Harry” movies: “A man’s got to know his limitations.”

I’m a good driver – very good, if I say so myself. I used to drive competitively a few decades ago

skill4

in Sports Car Road Rallies. My partner in that and I weren’t very successful, but we were good enough to finish each event alive and able to crawl home. Yup, I’m a good driver, but I can’t swim.

skill5

I tried to learn to swim. My doctors thought it would be a good exercise to help offset my superior eating skill. It didn’t work for several reasons.

  1. I didn’t want to learn to swim
  2. When I was a mere tyke I fell into a lake and almost drowned (see #1).
  3. Having only one functional arm I could only swim in circles.

The whole swimming escapade was a disaster waiting to happen. Water and I do not mix well. Think of me as an oil slick on the ocean of life.

In preparation for writing this I made a list of those skills in which I am “Good,” those skills that I am “Bad” at, and a middle ground I called “So-So.” When I finished I saw that the list of my “Good” skills was noticeably shorter than either the “Bad” or the “So-So.” I could come up with only six “Goods, while “Bad” came to nine, and “So-So” added up to seven.

I’m not going to go into detail on what is on what list. I don’t need help in embarrassing myself in public any more than I do. But I’ll let you guess.

Under which heading do you think “Crocheting” might fall? Or “Sarcasm?” What about my skill at styling hair into a Ponytail? How many of you think that I know how to fly an airplane?

I will acknowledge that two skills I have never been able to master are playing the piano and juggling. Lucky for me neither skill ever showed up on any aptitude test or during a job interview. Although during one interview I was asked if I knew how to write funny songs. Of course, I said yes.

Wouldn’t you?

skill6

Single Post Navigation

5 thoughts on “Throwback Thursday From July 2016 – “The Good, The Bad, And The So-So”

  1. Thanks for the laughs, John!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I once saved a friend (we were kids) from drowning. He almost pulled me off the wharf to join him ‘down under’. Scary! Next time, it’ll be someone else’s turn. I bet you’re a dancer. Wild guess. Funny story.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. When I dance people think that I’m having a seizure. They keep trying to push me to the floor and put a pencil between my teeth.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: