What Will I Do On Sunday Nights?

 

WELL, WELL, WELL. WE HAVE FINALLY DONE IT. We have reached the end, the finale, the climax, the resolution of the 37 year long television series, “Game of Thrones” – or is it “Game of Thorns?” I’m not sure.

We watched it all, each of the 57, 147 episodes. My guess is that the script writers just couldn’t bring themselves to edit away anything or fill in the gaps left when a flame throwing dragon went to get a nice 89 octane refill.

If anyone ever asks me, “What is it about?” I will have to answer, “Danged if I know.” I watched it all and I cannot answer that simple question. There were so many characters and subplots that it was like the phone book come to life – dressed in leather and waving rubber swords.

During the course of the series I noticed some subtle changes drifting into the plots. Compared to the earlier years of the show the later seasons had less nudity and more Starbucks coffee cups appearing on camera. In these later seasons the action shifted to an icy wintry climate, so that made the nudity thing a bit more dicey what with the danger of frostbite and such. There was that one episode where a Starbucks coffee cup was visible on a table throughout an entire scene. Near the end of the final episode one actor forgot to remove his plastic water bottle from the ground by his chair. They were just getting sloppy.

To produce this series was an amazing undertaking. This show, all by itself, provided employment for more actors, writers, and CGI computer magicians that all of Bollywood on a busy day.

There were three character actors who worked steady throughout all 37 years of the show’s run. There was the young Queen who had long blonde hair but wasn’t really blonde. Then there was the handsome, yet troubled, hero who bore an uncanny resemblance to the Shortstop for the San Francisco Giants. They may look alike, but this actor can’t go to his left as smoothly. Finally there was the intellectual and questionably ethical but maybe he was really unethical, character – the dwarf. He was in almost every episode dodging moral and literal spears. His survival was constantly in question. After all, he was the last one to know that it was raining, but the first one to drown. <—– Metaphor for his problems.

Over the years each of these main characters faced nonstop doom and gloom. In the end however it was only the fake blonde Queen who bought the farm – at the hands of the Shortstop look-a-like. The dwarf ended up with a good job and the Shortstop rode off into the snowy sunset.

And they lived happily ever after…in those leather outfits.

At the beginning of the series the now deceased Queen had three Dragons at her beck and call. By the end there was only one left and he, she, or it flew off into the sunset carrying the now dead Queen in its talons. Where they were going was never made clear. My guess is Palm Springs. A lot of dead Queens go there.

So, that’s it. A lot of people, dragons and zombies died, sometimes more than once (don’t ask).

It is over and now there are hordes of actors, writers, and costumers who have lost their jobs. Most of them will start waiting tables in North Hollywood.

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