I’d Like Another Cup

30 Apr 2019

I’d Like Another Cup

HOLY COFFEE GROUNDS, BATMAN! Krafty has leapt willy-nilly into the 21^st century. He has moved out of the cave and into the castle. No more plastic cup and a five year old jar of Sanka!

This past weekend we purchased one of those Keurig coffee makers. We now have a Mr. Coffee that makes nothing but tea for Dawn and the new Keurig Mini-whatever gizmo to make coffee for me. (We have a mixed marriage). My wife, the lovely and moderately caffeinated, Dawn, does not drink coffee (And yet she lives and thrives). I will drink tea, but I prefer coffee as my drug of choice. So…the only viable solution (other than getting me my very own Starbucks franchise) was to buy me the Keurig Gizmo.

The new toy uses those little coffee “pods” that will brew you one, and only one, cup of blazing hot coffee – or tea – or hot chocolate, depending on which little itty-bitty pod you insert into the gizmo. There must be 500 different pods that one can get. I didn’t know that there were that many variations available in anything other than DNA.

In our local Kroger there is a wall of coffee pods in aisle seven. I just stood there in awe. So many options. I’m used to just hot or cold, good or bad. When presented with such a myriad of choices I freeze up. I ended up grabbing some basic Guatemalan and something called “Donut Shop.” So many of the others I didn’t even recognize. I suppose I can explore those other things but I needed something recognizable ASAP to replenish my caffeine supply. I was beginning to twitch.

The way I look at it is that coffee is God’s gift to humanity so we don’t all drink tea and put ourselves to sleep. Coffee helps to keep us awake. Without coffee we might still be living in caves and watching TV by torchlight. By drinking coffee I think that I am casting a vote in favor of civilization. Coffee can only be made from coffee while tea can be made from tree bark, seaweed, and pretty much from any kind of organic matter that hasn’t been buried by a cat.

I drink my coffee with cream, but without any kind of sweeteners. If I wanted something sweet to drink I’d make

some Kool-Aid. When I make coffee it is because I want to savor the flavor of real coffee.

Now the adventure begins. With all of those different coffee pods out there I think that I might be wired like a frightened Chihuahua for the next thirty years. I will try them all eventually. It may turn me into a human version of a squirrel trying to get through heavy traffic, but I feel obligated to try. I might even sample the hot chocolate. I’m not prejudiced. I think that I will draw the line at making tea in the coffee maker. I know that we are making tea in a Mr. Coffee machine, but it’s not the same – Joe DiMaggio is dead.