I May Trade Away Myself
“It’s just getting too complicated.”
I say that every year and every year I agree to go through it all again.
What I’m talking about is taking part in a Fantasy Baseball League. I bet that designing and building my very own Nuclear Submarine made entirely of Dr. Pepper cans would be easier and less maddening.
There is no denying that I am a big Baseball fan, but I am rapidly morphing into a Non-Fan of Fantasy Baseball.
Fantasy Baseball has more arbitrary rules than the Real Thing. Almost everything seems to be beyond my control once the games start each day. There is no yanking a pitcher or putting in a pinch hitter. I may be called the Manager, but I have no more control than the guy selling Cotton Candy in the stands.
My team in this league is called “The Pismo Beachcombers.” Pismo Beach is a small coastal town in central California. They surf the ocean waves there instead of playing Baseball. I like Pismo Beach. I could see myself there except for two facts: 1) I live in Terre Haute, Indiana and 2) Pismo Beach is in California and that has become an unlivable state of affairs.
The Fantasy League I am slogging through has 8 teams this year. That’s about standard year after year. This is about my 5th or 6th year doing this and I have had trouble getting any higher in the standings than 3rd or 4th place. I’m beginning to feel like the White Sox.
Frustrating to say the least.
I know that one of the causes of my seasonal mediocrity in the League is that I tend to select players based on sentimentality and emotion. I would do better if I didn’t automatically banish all players from the Dodgers and the New York Yankees. And there is no reason to pick a young player just because his father came from the same small town in Pennsylvania where I grew up. I have that kid on my roster and he hasn’t gotten a hit this season.
Frustrating to say the least.
This season I have also succumbed to Team Loyalty. In the real world I am a fan of the San Francisco Giants. So…I have five of their players on the Pismo Beachcomber roster. Unfortunately, so far this year the Giants suck like a twenty year old Hoover and that translates poorly into my hopes for Fantasy League success.
I go through this angst and moaning every Fantasy League season. Last year I tried to ignore the amount of time I found myself spending (wasting) trying to turn my Pismo Beachcombers into a winning team. If this season doesn’t show improvement I may trade myself for a decent left-handed pitcher and a case of Fanta.
Down the Hall on Your Left 