I Know Cliff
WHEN MY WIFE, THE LOVELY AND CELEBRATORY QUEEN, DAWN, AND I want to put on the dog we pull out all the stops and let all the rockets fire at once.
This past Sunday to celebrate the fact that…that…that it was Sunday we went out to lunch at a local gourmet restaurant – The IHOP! Do we know how to cut loose or what?
We don’t visit The IHOP very often. We save it for those special occasions like…like…like Sunday. Every time we do go there I always hold out a feather of hope that we will actually see people from other countries. After all, before they shortened their name to “IHOP” they were known as the “International House of Pancakes.” That was kind of like our local airport being known as the Terre Haute (That’s French for “Let’s go get some crepes!”) International Airport.” The Pancake House became “IHOP” and our airport became the “Regional Airport.”
We went to the IHOP and we were escorted to a lovely booth and handed an extensive menu that went far beyond just pancakes, but everything came with pancakes. You could ask for Liver and Onions and discover that it comes with a Short Stack. I don’t know what syrup is best with Liver.
Our Waitress, or as she made the effort to inform us, our Server, was quite pleasant and knowledgeable. That woman knew her Flapjacks. She was a little shaky on some other items, but when it came to pancakes she was a Buttermilk Stephen Hawking.
Dawn ordered an omelet. Deciding on what kind of omelet was a real chore. They have quite a selection running from “A” to about “G” or “H” and all with pancakes on the side.
I asked our “Server” about the omelets and without even trying I confused the Pigs in a Blanket out of her. I hadn’t intended to, but once it all started going downhill, I just got out of the way.
I was giving a dramatic reading of the description of the “Country Omelet.” Our Server’s eyes were rolling. Dawn averted her eyes when I said, “I see that the Country Omelet comes with Belgium, Luxembourg, and three of our choice from Southeast Asia. Does that include Myanmar or IHOP still serving the traditional Burma?”
Our Server looked at me as if I was crazy. According to Dawn she may have been right.
I ordered pancakes.
Perhaps there is a good reason we don’t visit the IHOP very often. I may be that reason. I just can’t seem to behave myself when confronted with such a wide ranging and confusing menu. Anything beyond two or three varieties of pancakes and I’m lost. And I do not believe that chocolate chips belong in or on pancakes. I must be just a Purist on such things, but don’t let anyone say that we don’t know how to celebrate.