A New Career Might Be In Order

IF I WANTED TO WRITE SOMETHING ABOUT THE EPITOME OF STUPID CROOKS all I’d have to do is go about two blocks away from St. Arbucks. That is IF I wanted to do that. I don’t feel a strong need to do it, but some things just beg to be pointed out in front of the world’s glare.

So…

The other day – at 5:45 in the afternoon – two of the biggest dummies I never hope to meet personally got together to conduct a little illicit business deal. It was to be cash for drugs. But, being crooks, they could not resist the need to act in a crooked manner. Each of them decided it was a good idea to try to cheat the other one. You can already see that this is not going to end with butterflies and tap dancing.

Rather than their transaction following the normal “Here’s your money” and “Then here’s your drugs” format one of them figured that pulling a gun would make things go more smoothly. Perhaps it did for a moment or two until a second firearm appeared and things just fell apart.

Nobody is talking about who fired first, not that it really matters I guess, but both parties fired. Nobody missed.

These two …gunshot victims…having no one to blame but themselves, put away their animosity and realized that they needed help. So they called the cops. It then deteriorated into a case of the classic –

“He shot me!”

“No, he shot me!”

Dummy #1

The details of the failed cash for drugs event interested the police more than the target practice that followed. After getting the necessary details the police took the two bullet catchers to the hospital.

The people at the Emergency Room are pretty sharp and can spot a pair of dummies when they see one or two in this case. When our two failed businessmen arrived at the hospital it was pretty obvious to the ER staff that being shot was not going to keep those two from attending the Phi Beta Kappa Picnic this weekend. Everything else in their lives was going to do that. Add to that their mutual arrests by the police and all plans were cancelled.

Dummy #2

According to the media and the courts, they are both being held in lieu of a fifty thousand dollar bond – cash only – no ten percent easy out for these boys. They aren’t going anywhere soon. They are both hospitalized and will be out of circulation for…well…let’s just say that they might miss the next few Olympic Games.

I admit that I am being a bit sarcastic about these two…guys, but Holy Hospital Arraignments, Batman – these two…gentlemen brought it all on themselves. I can’t say that I feel sorry for them. I’ll leave that to their families, their Drug Suppliers, and their Attorneys. From me they’re only gonna get a chuckle, a shake of my head, and about 500 words.

One little tip for the future…felons, in the future, if you have one, learn to duck.

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