No, No, No and No.
Artist’s Rendition
OK…I’M AS FREE THINKING AS THE NEXT GUY and even more so than the guy next to him, but even I have to draw the line somewhere.
Not everyone in the world has good luck in dating and looking for true love.
The perfect, or rather highly imperfect, example of this comes in the person of Mr. Christian Nichols, 21, of Oldsmar, Florida. Mr. Nichols is currently incarcerated for “Looking for Love in all the wrong places.”
Extremely Wrong.
Young Mr. Nichols was apprehended by the Police…How shall I phrase this? – For doing the “Nasty-Nasty” with his pet Siberian Husky dog. The dog’s name is being withheld because it is under 18 years of age.
This is hardly the first story of its kind we’ve ever seen. Strange and lonely men have been crossing that Inter-Species Dating line for eons, but Mr. Nichols of Florida brought his own special quirks to play. It also gave the cops an easy trail to follow right to his Doggy Door.
Obviously, Christian Nichols didn’t care that he was violating any number of Laws, Regulations, Commandments, and Pet Store Rules; he also exhibited incredible bad taste about the prohibitions concerning “Kiss and Tell” tattling. This King of Puppy Love filmed his…rendezvous with the stressed out Husky and posted it on the Internet. (Please don’t go looking for it! Show some class, People!)
OK…We have already established that Mr. Christian Nichols is one incredibly twisted animal lover in both literal and figurative dimensions. There is also no doubt that he is a fan of the Social Media, but I hope that his Facebook Profile doesn’t list him as being “In a Relationship.”
Not only did he guarantee that his Husky will be in therapy for dog-years, and then foisted his “Nuit d’amour et os de lait” upon the world, in doing so he also proved that he saw himself as the Bob Mackie of the Canine Pervert World where costuming is everything.As he was…having his way with his dog… he was doing so dressed up in his own customized doggie costume. Just trying to imagine that makes my retinas hurt.
Here we have it: A 21 year old man dancing the Horizontal Samba with his dog, while dressed as a 230 lb Dalmation, and then posting the video of himself and his dog on the Internet for all the world to see. And he probably wonders why he was arrested.
I debated writing about this today. Should I or shouldn’t I? Luckily, I won the debate.
To wrap up this whole thing I provide a link to an appropriate musical send-off. What could be a better theme song for this flea bitten pile of messed up humanity?
Down the Hall on Your Left 
I wonder if they could make an episode of “Law & Order: SVU” out of this story… I have to ask: how’s the dog taking all of this?
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The dog is in therapy and considering a move to Sedona.
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