I Would Like A Blizzard

IF ANY OF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A JOB – come see me. I know of a very special job opening that calls for a very special person.

Dairy Queen is Hiring!!!

Imagine being behind the counter at Dairy Queen with access to everything – Blizzards of any size and flavor at your fingertips. All of that and, to top it off, you are living in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “Put cheese on it!).

The only negative aspect of working at this particular Dairy Queen is its size. It is small. It is small and as busy as a street sweeper in New Orleans the day after Mardi Gras. This little “DQ” is a gold mine with ice cream on the side.

There are three Dairy Queens in Terre Haute (That’s French for, “Gimme a footlong.”). They are all owned by the same guy (The “Dairy King?”). His other two stores conform to the usual size and design of most DQs around the country and they do a good business. However… This little shack of a Dairy Queen enables him to spend the Winter in Palm Beach getting a tan. With the two bigger stores open year round he keeps this bump on a log sized store open only from Mid March until Halloween. It cranks out money like overtime at the US Mint.

That is one sweet deal.

And now YOU can be a part of this Soft-Serve dream.

Whenever this little store is open – Day or Night, Rain or Shine, Drunk or Sober – there is a line of customers snaking around the parking lot. With all of those cars it looks like an accident with dessert.

The only seating is on two concrete benches, the front bumper of your car or on the curb with your feet sticking out into Wabash Avenue (not advised due to heavy truck traffic when there is a crash out on the Interstate or near Last Call at the nearby taverns.)

Just imagine going to work at this Palace of Pre-Diabetes. There are usually only two people working there at any given time. If you get the job there you will never be bored. There will always be someone craving a footlong hot dog or a Linoleum Fudge Ripple Blizzard or whatever. You gotta keep the Public happy and well fed…or at least fed.

I’ve contemplated putting in an application myself – not that I really want a job. Heaven forbid! Been there, done that for 46 years. A job? No, No, No! I really just want the chance to get my hands on the controls. Think of it…A nice humungous cone piled high with Double Chocolate Fudge Super Duper Ice Cream – with Sprinkles. Let me in there for twenty minutes and I’ll be happy and probably fired on the spot. Do I care?

No.

They are holding job interviews right now. This is the job for someone who doesn’t care. Truthfully, that’s not me. But maybe it is the perfect spot for you.

This is the end of this Public Service Announcement.

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