Don’t Insult The Dog

 

IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYDAY THE HEADLINES ARE FILLED with the nefarious exploits of criminal sorts who – how shall I say this – think big? Not content with knocking over a bank they pull off a multibank swindle for hundreds of millions of dollars. Then there are the Bernie Madoff sorts who just feed on the greed of those people who think there are “Something for Nothing” ways to Riches and Rodeo Drive. These are Big City News stories, but I think that there is nothing that can compare with Small Town News. In the Small Town newspapers you are going to find stories that would never make the pages of the New York Times.

Where else are you going to learn about the woman who was arrested for barking at a Police Dog?

IT’S SMALL TOWN NEWS TIME!

“Twenty year-old (Name deleted out of Common Decency) was standing in front of her home…”

It seems that the Police had pulled over an errant driver right in front of (Name deleted out of Common Decency)’s house and she couldn’t resist putting in her two cents worth of idiocy.

While the Police had their highly trained dog giving the stopped car the “Sniff Test” the incredibly dense young woman (Name deleted out of Common Decency) butted in. For reasons known but to God and Rin-Tin-Tin she began to bark at the Drug Sniffer Dog. First of all – There had to be better ways to be a pain in the Gluteus Maximus, but this was her choice and she went with it. Secondly – Not only was she interfering with a police activity, she might have inadvertently been saying something insulting to the dog. And Thirdly – Use your imagination. I’m sure you can come up with something.

One of the cops tried to get her, (Name deleted out of Common Decency), to stop, but as stupidity often works, she didn’t. It was at that point that everything moved seriously to the south. She was just going to be cited with Interfering, but lo and behold, (Name deleted out of Common Decency) showed up on their records with a bushel basket filled with outstanding warrants.

After the traffic tickets were issued the young lady with the bark was arrested and remains in jail without bail for fear that she might slip her leash and run away.

That is a perfect example of what can be found in Small Town News. No big gun battles or billion dollar swindlers – just some nutball thinking it was a cool idea to bark at a Police Dog.

There was another fine example and, while I have no way of proving it, I’d bet that these two clowns are related.

A few months ago I read a story about another naughty person, whose name I forget, who was also wanted by The Law – to the point that there was a REWARD on his empty head.

He was on the run. He needed money. His solution: Go after some money that was just sitting there.

He called the Police and identified himself as the guy they were looking for. He then asked them if, theoretically speaking, he was to turn himself in … would he get the REWARD?

(Short pause while I laugh out loud)

The sharp-witted cop on the other end of the line said to him, “Yes, Sir, you would get the reward money.”

C’mon Down!

Scene cuts back to the dummy crook in hiding. “Hmmm.”

Imagine his dismay when he found out that wasn’t going to get the money. If I was him I probably would have started barking.

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