Let Me Know If You Plan To Drive Tonight

WHOOP DI DOO! YIPPEE KAI YAY! Happy New Year and all that. 2019 begins shortly or not, depending on when you read this. Or – possibly taking into account the amount of alcohol you’ve already consumed – 2019 began some time ago. If you are an NBA Basketball player – welcome to 2027! You are coming out of your coma!

It has been a long time since I have been awake at midnight on New Year’s Eve. I just cannot stay conscious that late any more. I guess that makes me a true Geezer. Not being able to stay awake until midnight is one of the official symptoms and qualifications for Geezerhood.

When the New Year comes in I can assure you that I will be out cold the old fashioned way. Of course, that also means that I should (God willing) not regret waking up tomorrow morning. My head won’t hurt. My knees might ache, but they won’t be accompanied by voluminous vomiting.

A lot of people refer to New Year’s Eve as “Amateur Night,” – a night when those who either don’t drink or know to stop after one or two drinks let it all fall apart and knock back enough booze to embarrass the Navy on Shore Leave. They drink until they pass out and wake up in a day or two with either a ring on their finger or a new tattoo…or both. Some of them may wake up in Mexico missing a kidney.

There are also those people I call “Professional Drinkers.” They are the New Year’s Eve revelers who consume mass quantities of alcohol, but pass out and stay put until they wake up. No drunk driving for them. No sitting upright for some time either. These are the people who are comfortable sleeping on the floor and waking up with a tongue made of old flannel.

I admit that in my younger days I did imbibe and, on occasion, to the point of making calls on the big porcelain telephone. I don’t mean to say that I was running with a bad crowd. No, they were a very good crowd. At that time of my life I was one of the people my parents warned me about.

Surviving that time of my life was both fortunate and educational. It taught me my limits in a number of areas and gave me a lesson in both financial planning and how to get up, get dressed, and get to work on virtually no sleep.

Those days are thankfully past. If they weren’t in my past I’m sure that I would be a fleeting memory and nothing more. I now feel relatively confident that I will wake up tomorrow and remember today.

I wish that you all have a fun and joyful new year that will start off with a fun and joyful time tonight.

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