Clean – Up In Aisle Seven!
IT USED TO BE THAT EVERY TOWN HAD A “FIVE AND DIME” STORE. Well, inflation took care of that. Now we have “Dollar Stores” which vainly attempt to be what Woolworth’s and the others used to be. Until the Dollar General puts in a lunch counter I will not accept them as the worthy heirs.
While there may be a number of Dollar Stores in every town, village and wide spot in the road in the country they are little more than Garage Sales with a neon sign. Much of their merchandise carries labels that I do not recognize – and that does not induce confidence in me. Sorry, but I don’t like “gummi bears” anyway.
If I want to buy a can of chili I want to look at the can and say, “I know that brand.” Perhaps they want me to be more adventuresome, but I refuse. I’m a set in my ways old fogey and I’m not going to change.
I was in a “Family Dollar Store” last week and I took my time going up and down the aisles. I was impressed that they have a section where they are selling books – until I looked closer and realized that their books have been written by people even more unknown than me, and that’s hard to do.
I skipped past the food aisle and headed for the “School and Office” aisle hoping to find some cheap pens. If I can buy pens at four for a buck I consider the trip worthwhile. I don’t buy notebooks there. It is hard to write on paper so cheaply made that you can get splinters from it. I know – I’m fussy.
I wanted to pick up some Excedrin Migraine pills. I don’t have migraine headaches, but they are the best non-prescription stuff I’ve found for body aches and pains. They didn’t have any Excedrin, but I could buy some “Gummi Aspirin” if I was willing to take a chance for a buck. I declined
Just a few bottles down the aisle I saw something that stopped me in my aching tracks. Who in their
right mind is going to buy Dollar Store brand Pregnancy Tests? Maybe the people who earlier bought the Dollar Store brand Condoms?
I’m sorry, but there are some things one should NEVER buy at a Dollar Store. Those two items I think should be at the top of the list.
- Condoms
- Pregnancy Tests
- Books on how to get rich
- Chili
I would steer clear of Dollar Store Motor Oil for my car too. I fear that it might be a bit “gummi” and turn my car into a sculpture with payments due.
Picture if you will…
Little Junior asks his Mommy and Daddy where they met.
“We met in Aisle Seven at the Dollar Store, and that’s where we got your sister too if i’m not mistaken. Now go fetch me the “Gummi Aspirin” I have a headache.”
Down the Hall on Your Left 