It’s Either Time Travel Or Weed Pulling
I WANT SOMETHING. Actually, I want a number of things, but none of them are very big. I want a nice lunch. I want someone to pull up some weeds for me. I wouldn’t mind it if I could figure a way to eliminate stairs.
See, the things I want are simple and don’t require a big honkin’ commitment from somebody else = except maybe for that weed pulling thing. Not everyone is like me. There are some people who want things that call for another person to put it all on the line – even to the point of risking their life in the process.
Kind of like dating a Redhead.
What brings this to mind is an ad that ran in a newspaper up in British Columbia a while back. Take a moment to read the ad and then we will continue our discourse.
(Musical Interlude)
OK. You got all that?
All I want is someone to pull some weeds, but this guy is looking for another person to do a little time traveling with him.
HIM – I assume it is a male who placed this ad. If a woman had done it she would have asked for references and an 8 X 10 Glossy photo first thing.
Believe it or not, there are some things in this ad that raise a couple of questions in my feeble mind.
“Only a couple?” I hear you scream. Well, you have to start somewhere.
The ad says that, if selected to go on this journey to Whenever, I must bring my own weapons. I raise my hand to ask a question or twenty.
“Where and/or when are we going that I will need weapons? AND What do you have up your sleeve once we get to whenever we are headed? These weapons that I have to supply…Offensive or Defensive? Are we talking a Pocket Knife here or a Suitcase Thermonuclear Device?
“You’ll get paid after we get back.”
Now…I may be as dumb as boiled gravel, but that bit about getting paid is something we need to negotiate up front. I’m not doing all of this for Minimum Wage. I would want at least $15.00 per hour = PLUS a per diem for lunch money – seeing as how I am already providing weapons out of my own pocket.
This ad is a bit skimpy on the details, but it does provide one interesting tidbit of information that would keep me from skipping over the ad and moving on, looking for a nearby chili cook-off to attend.
The guy looking for a travel companion and someone to watch his back says that he has “only done this once before.” I assume that the “this” he is talking about is the Time Travel part and not the “Placing an ad” part.
If it is the “Placing an ad” that he has only done once before then I am going to assume that this guy is really only about 14 years old and has found the key to his parent’s liquor cabinet.
If it is the “Time Travel” part then maybe we can talk.
Even if he is that loopy 14 year old maybe we can still talk. I will pay $5.00 per hour for him to come over and pull those weeds for me.
Down the Hall on Your Left 