Tubular Meats

 

“TUBULAR MEATS” IS NOT A PHRASE YOU HEAR VERY OFTEN. It might even be rarely heard. You just have to be in the right place at the wrong time.

Let me first define the term.

Tubular Meats: “A Classification of a certain style or configuration of foods such as hot Dogs, Sausage Links, Kielbasa, and even the often neglected Vienna Sausages. Pigs in a Blanket are not included unless the blankets are removed.”

This definition is a paraphrase of the one created by a Social Worker somewhere at sometime. Their definition probably included the words “Hazard” and “Choking.”

I’ve not met this particular Social Worker and I’m really quite happy with that. But I can give you a little background info on this whole “Tubular Meats” business.

The word has it that someone, a client of a Social Worker, somewhere at sometime in the past, choked on a piece of some unidentified Tubular Meat. The Social Worker response to such an event is to ban all Tubular Meats of all kinds from the plates of all clients in that Social Worker’s sphere of influence. That action was considered a solution, rather than having those working directly with clients pay attention and assist the clients that need help. A ban rather than proper training seemed to be the better choice.

This is the same quality of Social Workers “think-freeze” that has also banned peanut butter because that elusive someone, somewhere, sometime might be allergic to peanut butter. Checking any client’s charts that indicate food allergies is too difficult. Given that warped thinking avoidance it flows that eventually all substances must be banned – just in case.

Henry Heimlich – The Man with a Maneuver

I say these things having worked in the Social Work field and had to deal with this kind of nonsense every day.

Excuse me if I rant about this, but the complete and utter lack of reason in decision making appalls me – like I can do anything about it. And that is the infuriating part, trying to get any bureaucracy to work efficiently, or even at all. Getting them to benefit their clients is like spitting into the wind.

It may sound cynical, but in my opinion most Social Work executives, the decision makers, are only concerned with keeping their jobs secure and the clients are inconveniences that clutter their day.

Tubular Meats – while it sounds silly, is a perfect example of what is wrong as one climbs up the Social Work Corporate Flow Chart.

Henry Heimlich had a good idea when he came up with the “Heimlich Maneuver.” It’s too bad that he couldn’t come up with a maneuver that would unblock the choking lack of Sense and Logic in the world of Social Work.

Well, that’s enough about inept Management and Tubular Meats. Below is a link to Mike Oldfield’s 1974 musical landmark, “Tubular Bells.”

Don’t choke on it while listening or we might have to ban all music.

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