It’s Festival Time !
I LIKE ANIMALS. Some of my favorite people are real animals. And some of my favorite animals I tend to treat like people. It can get confusing at times I’ll admit that. Take a squirrel to lunch and people tend to look at you like you’re nuts.
There are, of course, some animals that I don’t care for and don’t want to socialize with – on any level.
For example: BATS. I just don’t like bats. I grew up watching all of those Bela Lugosi movies and it affected me. I don’t like politicians for much the same reason.
All of my experiences with bats have come when they, uninvited, have entered our house. I don’t invite insurance salesmen into our home and I don’t invite bats either.
What brings this all to mind is a Facebook ad that I saw the other night: a nicely crafted announcement trumpeting the upcoming –
“12th Annual Indiana Bat Festival”
While it may say that it is about “bats” it has nothing to do with Baseball.
This event is put on by the “Indiana State University Center for Bat Research, Outreach, and Conservation.”
Say what? Outreach? Only with a broom, my friend. Conservation? I should collect them, maybe? There seems to be plenty of them around.
It was just a couple of days ago – I was on Facebook looking for some Baseball scores and info when this blurb for the 12th Annual Bat Festival pops up. The promo had this tagline:
“This will make you change your mind about bats.” – followed by a little smiley face.
I couldn’t let that pass. I typed this in the “Comment” space: “No, it won’t.”
Evidently, the person who was posting the ad, a pleasant person named, “Sherri,” was still online and responded right back at me.
“They are so important. Like bees. (Is that a good argument?)
That lit my fuse. I replied: “Can I get a jar of bat honey?”
Sherri, “The Bat Person,” must have thought that I could still be persuaded to love bats. Good luck on that. She replied:
“No, but you do get mangos, and bananas, and other fruit from them.”
Maybe you do, Sherri, but me? I replied yet again:
“Really? I usually go to Kroger’s.”
Somehow, Sherri, The Queen of all bats, didn’t feel her leg being pulled.
She quickly answered me back: “You’ve never seen how they get there, have you?”
That one was too easy.
“Trucks?”
With that she paused and posted this short video clip of a bat eating a slice of what looked like some Kiwi Fruit. I commented:
“Where did you find that video of my Ex?”
After that there was a gap of about a minute before she shot back with:
“Not touching that with a 10 foot pole.”
Being the wiseacre that I am I couldn’t pass up that set-up line of hers. I answered her with:
“That’s what she said.”
I guess “Sherri” got a call on her “Batphone” or something because she stopped chatting with me. I really don’t know why .
That “Bat Festival” is coming up in September and even though they call it a Festival I’ll bet that they don’t have a Funnel Cake stand or Deep Fried Bats On A Stick. If they do that will be yet another reason for me not to go. An even bigger reason for me to stay away might be that I’m afraid I might run into that Sherri and her 10 foot pole.
10 Foot Pole Dance
Down the Hall on Your Left 
Bats are a little like cockroaches: no matter what you, they find a way in anyway.
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Also a lot like some of my relatives.
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