Last One In Is A Samsung
Those were the words that greeted me this morning when I went for my usual coffee transfusion.
One of the Usual Suspects spent ten minutes bemoaning the fact that the day before he had jumped into a swimming pool with his cellphone on his hip. Goodbye cellphone.
It is a sure thing that ten minutes in the pool will kill your cellphone. Putting it in a bag of rice won’t do anything except suggest what to have for lunch.
I’ve never done anything quite like he did. First of all I’m not going to be jumping into any old swimming pool. Not me. I have other ways of doing something stupid. I don’t need large bodies of water.
It wasn’t all that long ago when i walked into a closed door. Let’s just call that “a failure to notice the obvious.” I wasn’t hurt beyond a bump on my head for a few days, but my ego was seriously bruised.
I don’t do things like that every day, thank the Lord, but just often enough to remind me that I am a vulnerable human being – so I’d better pay better attention to my surroundings.
I didn’t criticize that gentleman for taking his phone with him into the pool. There are too many black marks on my side of the ledger to allow for me to give anyone else grief. I’m clumsy enough to make sure that I would never be a surgeon or a member of the police Bomb Squad.
“What do you mean ‘The appendix is on the other side?'”
I had an Aunt who once had surgery with a doctor who was a true gold plated doofus. He and his crack surgical crew managed to leave one of their metal instruments inside of dear Aunt Nellie when they had finished cutting and sewn her back together. They finally noticed that they were one item short, but it was too late by then. Oops! She carried that thing around inside of her until her dying day. It never gave her any trouble, but she did set off metal detectors until the end.
We’ve all done dumb things. I walked into that closed door. I once bought a Fiat. I once held hands with an 800 pound gorilla. Doesn’t everyone? Please tell me that other people do stuff like that too. I admit that the gorilla thing may have been a bit unique, but I was dating this woman who worked at the zoo. Perhaps that story should be saved for another day.
I would think that there must be thousands of people diving into the pool while wearing their cellphone every day. It is probably a major profit center for the phone companies – selling new replacement phones to those swimmers.
The fellow with the waterlogged phone and the soggy bag of rice will get a new phone and, after a period of frustration setting it up, he will go on to lead a normal life – or as close to normal as anyone can who is careless enough to go swimming with a cellphone. The Dummy.