It’s Uphill Both Ways
I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE IT. I’m paying for it now and it may take some time for me to catch up. Why did I do that?
Yesterday, for some reason, I ended up really tired. I certainly didn’t overwork myself at anything. I’ll just blame it on the curvature of the Earth that made me spend the whole day going uphill. The end result was that this morning I slept in an extra 90 minutes. That means that the whole world has a 90 minute headstart on me this morning.
When my toes hit the ground I was immediately playing catch-up. I’m not good at that.
When I first get up in the morning I am seriously groggy. Give the world a 90 minute headstart and my grogginess turns into “I’m driving blind.”
I flipped on the TV expecting to see the local News and Weather bunnies, but instead my recently overhauled eyes see the plastic mannequins of the network morning shows. It was then that I knew something was wrong.
Oversleeping like that makes me feel like I am hung over. I remember that sensation from my youthful days. My vision is fuzzy and my brain is on a 7-second delay. It’s like I am watching the whole world do card tricks in front of me. I can see what is happening, but I, can’t quite figure out how they are doing it.
Somehow I managed to get my socks on the proper feet, careen down the stairs without falling (to the best of my recollection), make tea, and put together my Meds allotment for the day. At least I think that is what I did. I’ll find out later if I put my meds in the teapot and a teabag in my pill caddy. It could happen.
I knew that I was supposed to do something next, but I’m still not sure what. So, I just grabbed my bag of tricks and my Giants cap and headed out to the car. I was halfway down the driveway when I realized that I had left the kitchen door wide open. You do that in my neighborhood and you’ll come home to find a family of raccoons having lunch in your kitchen.
A flash of competence lit up behind my eyes and I went back into the house. Sure enough, I had prepared the tea, but never turned it on to brew. We use a Mr. Coffee clone to make tea.
I hit my personal replay button and managed to get back into the car and make my way down the street toward St. Arbucks. I needed coffee.
There is a lot more traffic on the road when you drive there 90 minutes later than usual. How I got all the way there unscathed I can’t explain. but here I am now. I’m sitting in the corner. Half of my coffee is already down my gullet and the place is full of strangers. Some of them are staring at me. I don’t know why. I recall checking before leaving the house – matching shoes, two socks, pants, and the zipper was…