A Night At The Movies!
WHO KNOWS WHAT TOMORROW BRINGS? Not me, that’s for sure. Given the state of the world today there are few things that can be regarded as certain. Not many, but there are a few. I bumped into one of those sure things last night.
My wife, the lovely and cinematically tasteful, Dawn, and I are big fans of the Movies. Dawn’s taste is better and covers a wider spectrum than mine so she roots around and uncovers some real gems. Last night she found a truffle of a film that is going to be on our short list of “Movies to be seen ASAP.”
I’m telling you all of this because viewing this movie could prove to be culturally deadly. If, and unless I am wrong, this fungus of a film may turn out to be a Death Cap mushroom in artistic terms. And this movie is on Showtime not some obscure cable outlet that has a viewership of the “Life Without Parole” crowd and those whose medications make sleep difficult.
Some night soon, after a light supper of Dramamine and Milk of Magnesia, we will hunker down in front of the TV to watch…
(FANFARE)
“Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies.”
You’re right already. This does not sound promising and I don’t think it will be playing at the local 12 – Screen Cineplex anytime soon. If it does ever play here may the wrath of God fall upon the box office.
I’m bringing up all of this before we watch this thing because it is a known fact that some traumas (not Dramas) can induce a catatonic state in Geezers like me. So I figured that I’d better write this up front.
“Three young Snowboarders find themselves in an epic battle for survival when a scientific experiment unleashes a horde of Zombies and mutant wildlife in the Austrian Alps.”
That is the publicity blurb for this movie. It kind of makes me choke up a bit. I feel that we should watch this film closely because I don’t think the cast members will ever work again.
They are promoting the movie as a Comedy, but I have a feeling that was decided upon as soon as someone sober watched it.
One Reviewer said, “Attack of the Lederhosen Zombies” doesn’t quite live up to its eye-catching name.”
I think we should all be grateful for that.
I don’t know about you, but I can’t go to the movies, even at home, without snacking. For this show I don’t think that popcorn and Junior Mints are gonna do it. We’re going to need something stronger. Thorazine and Haldol perhaps? Now that would be both Good and Plenty!
On the night of the show the curtain will be going up at about 8 o’clock. If, at about that time you look to the sky and see a glow on the horizon, that may be the flash from my brain exploding.
If we do survive that night I will make every effort to be back in the saddle the next morning. I may be in a straitjacket, with singed eyeballs, a sauteed frontal lobe and with what remains of my self-respect shredded like a five pound tub of Cole Slaw, but I will answer the call to duty.
Down the Hall on Your Left 
I may have mentioned this movie as I scrolled through the available offerings, but I did NOT add it to the list. I feel compelled to mention this. I do have a reputation to uphold in Terre Haute – that’s French for “don’t throw me under that cinematic bus, Bucko!” Nevertheless, I love ya!
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