THE LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT here in lovely Terre Haute (That’s French for, “There’s a BOGO Special at the Burger King.”) posts on Facebook the pictures and vitals of wanted crooks under the title “Crime Stoppers.” It is not a bad idea. It actually does help catch some truly nasty people. It also helps me keep track on the whereabouts of some old acquaintances.
One thing that I have noticed on the “Crime Stoppers” page is that more and more of the “Persons of Interest” are women. It used to be that it was only men who attained “Most Wanted” status, but now I’m seeing that particular glass ceiling has been shattered. The Terre Haute “Crime Stoppers” page is indeed an equal opportunity site. It gives me a warm and fuzzy egalitarian feeling.
As more of the “Fairer Sex” makes it to the Big Time on their way to the Big House they are still lagging behind in one area – Mug Shots. When I see the Mug Shots of the guys I get the feeling that they are bored – a sort of “Here we go again” look is on their faces.
The Mug Shots of the gals are different. Most of them look either angry, like they are already plotting their revenge on whoever ratted on them – or they are posing like they think it is all a photo shoot for Vogue. I grant you that these pictures are not taken under the best of circumstances and with the most cooperative of models, but still…
“Work with me, Darling! Wet your lips! Think ‘The Riviera.’”
I don’t know when in the process of incarceration that Mug Shots are taken, but I would think that somewhere along the line a few seconds could be set aside for some personal grooming. Then again, maybe they did and this was as good as they were going to look. I don’t claim to be an overly handsome Uber-Macho guy, but even I, with limited raw materials with which to work, can do better than some of these fine folks. Then again – you do what you can with what you’ve got.
I do think that there are some people who have been set up by Life.
Case in Point:
In the latest Crime Stoppers posting there was a report of a major drug bust where 18 people were busted. One of the “Arrestees” was a young lady (Not pictured here) who, if she were to take my advice, would get her name changed. What kind of a life is a girl going to have walking around with the last name of “Scank?” That is just going through life with a big “Kick Me” sign taped to your back. I’m sure that Miss Scank meets only the nicest of men.
“Miss Scank, I’d like you to meet Mr. Junkie and his friend, Mr. Open Running Sore.”
Sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns and take control. And Lord knows, there is enough bull to go around.
I really know of a family that has saddled one of their children, a nice youngster, with the name of, “Buckshot.” I’m not kidding. I hope that he can get into a courtroom and change his name to Bob, Harry, or “…Anything but Sue.” I hope he does it before he ends up in that courtroom wearing an Orange jumpsuit. No one looks good in Orange.
While I enjoy seeing these nefarious characters caught I do wish the police would hire a real photographer instead of using a refurbished “Four for A Dollar” photo booth rescued from a bankrupt Amusement Park.