You Can Lead A Blog To Water…

 

TWICE IN THE LAST WEEK I HAVE WITNESSED A CLICHÉ COME TO LIFE. My head is still shaking in disbelief.

A few days ago over coffee I was having a conversation with a recently retired school teacher. After about six million years in the classroom he is now taking it easy and enjoying life. One of his pastimes is collecting and restoring antique cash registers.

“Whatever makes you happy,” I said to myself.

As I was packing up my writing bag of notebook, pens and miscellaneous junk I asked my friend, “What are you going to be doing today?” That is an idle conversation question that generally gets an idle and innocuous answer. That is what I expected, but it was not what I got.

“What are you going to be doing today?

“Well, let me tell you, Krafty. Do you have a minute?”

I sat down and put my keys back in my pocket.

“I’m working on this old cash register and I’m going to be doing a little painting on it. I have two spray cans of red paint and I’m testing them.

“I’ve set up a test area and I’ve painted one side with one can and the other side with the second can.”

I nodded as if I both understood and cared. He was on a roll and I was not going to get in his way.

“When I get home I’ll check the paint. The last time I did this one of them dried nicely, but the other stayed tacky for two days,”

My brow knitted.

“Let me get this right,” I said. “Your plan for today is to go home and watch paint dry?”

“Well, yes, I guess that’s right. Oh, my.”

“What an exciting life you lead, my friend.”

Like I said that was a few days ago. My head was still shaking this morning when it happened again. I was broadsided by another of those clichés that everybody knows, but never really believes actually happen.

My wife, the lovely and multi-talented former school teacher, Dawn, has been serving as an Online Home School Teacher for a young family member in Texas. Like any other classroom there are homework assignments. One such assignment was due this morning.

Cliché time.

Her young student did not turn in her homework. She had done the work. She was all set to turn it in, but she couldn’t find it. She had left it right by the computer, ready to go as soon as class began, but…

We’ve all used some pretty outrageous excuses for not turning in our homework…OK, I’ve used some pretty outrageous excuses, but even I never tried to use the one that Dawn heard this morning.

“Honest, Aunt Dawn, I did the work, but – you’re not going to believe this, but…the dog ate it.”

She wasn’t kidding – and she wasn’t fibbing either.

Verified by her parents.

They found the remnants of today’s assignment, heavily chewed and partially eaten, with bits of paper clinging to their dog’s furry chin. Despite intense questioning the dog refused to offer a reasonable explanation for his actions.

Twice in one week I have run head on into two of the oldest clichés around. If I hadn’t heard them myself I wouldn’t have believed them, but don’t feel bad about it. I just happened to be in the right (or possibly wrong) place at the right time. I don’t know if I have been blessed or cursed.

After all, it’s not you – it’s me.

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