Read This Before Anyone Else
This morning when I crawled down to St. Arbucks for my daily transfusion I ran headlong into a newish word that I have been seeing but not bothering to learn or adopt.
My Barista was wearing a new name tag that read, “I’m your BAE.”
As I stood there gaping at his name tag a possible clue to the definition came into my slumbering mind. The letters were all in CAPS – so I read it as an abbreviation – BAE. The young Barista saw me staring at his tag. I ventured a guess.
“BAE? Don’t tell me. BAE: Bas Ass Employee?”
I was only being half facetious.
The Barista is a muscular Army veteran who looks like he could walk through walls without getting dusty. Big Dude. He smiled and said that BAE really meant that he was someone’s boyfriend.
BAE: “Before Anyone Else.”
Finally someone gave me an actual definition.
1) That it is, in English anyway, an abbreviation meaning “Before Anyone Else,” just like the Big Dude told me, easily applicable to serving as “Boyfriend” or “Girlfriend.”
2) The origin of BAE goes back as far as 2003 when it first began showing up in Emails and other ephemeral communications, so don’t expect to see it suddenly appearing in a new printing of “Romeo and Juliet.”
BAE – Before Anyone Else.
That’s kinda sweet in a Middle School After School Detention Room sort of way.
There is another part of the definition of BAE, but don’t blame me. I didn’t make this up.
According to Google, which has become in our world a combination of The Oxford English Dictionary, The Encyclopedia Britannica, and Adam Carolla’s stirring autobiography, “Not Taco Bell Material,” “BAE is an actual word… in Danish.
3) In the Danish language BAE is defined as, to put it delicately, “Poop.”
I felt an obligation to get up from my chair and go inform the Barista that his new name tag was saying more than he thought. I really doubted that he wanted to tell the world that he was merely its effluvium. I had to say something.
My large friend was warming a bagel when I interrupted him. That is hardly an activity that requires a serious focus so I didn’t feel bad about butting in.
“Oh? Is this about that Swedish word thing?”
“Danish, but yes. Then you do know what it means?”
“Yeah, but not many Swedes come in here so I figure it’s cool.”
“Danes, but if it’s OK with you, it’s OK with me. Personally, I wouldn’t feel comfortable telling everyone that I am their ‘poop,’ but that’s me.”
“I don’t think the odds are very high that some Swede is going to come in here and get in my face about it. So I’m not going to change my name tag.”