Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

It’s A Good Day To Play It Safe

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!

Unless you live in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today is just another Friday. If you do live in Punxutawney, Pennsylvania then this is the one day in the year that anyone gives a hedgehog’s patoot about your town. Today is the day when the Network Morning Shows will give you a 90 second live cutaway to see the annual Groundhog ceremony…and then that’s it until next year.

If you want any more attention you’ll have to pop the DVD of the Bill Murray movie into your TV. That’s it, I’m sorry. 90 seconds a year. Either accept it or move to someplace like LA

LA lives in a mirror. It spends every day looking at its own reflection and thinks that it’s real. New York City is like that to a degree only their mirror needs cleaning.

A few years ago New York City must have been feeling inadequate so they tried to stage their own Groundhog Day Extravaganza. The Mayor took his limo to the Zoo and stood in front of every live TV camera in town. On his cue the Mayor picked up the sleepy Groundhog. That was when things started to go wrong. It was pathetic. The Mayor of the biggest city in the country was trying to upstage a small Pennsylvania town. It went from bad to worse when the Mayor, not a

noted Groundhog wrangler, panicked when the Groundhog squirmed. He dropped the poor animal. The Mayor of New York City murdered the Groundhog. It reacted poorly to being picked up, the Mayor went sissy and the furry little creature took a header to the concrete sidewalks of New York. Way to go Mr. Mayor.

That incident in New York reminded me of another tragic mess in Cleveland involving my late Aunt Annette and her efforts to bond with one of her grandchildren.

It was a warm Spring day and my Aunt was babysitting for a couple of grandchildren when she violated one of the cardinal rules of the Universe – “Don’t try to impress a 10 year old boy if you are a 70 year old Lithuanian woman.” (That is Rule #7239. I looked it up.)

It being a nice day the boy wanted to play outside. He had his skateboard and wanted to try out a few new tricks in his Grannie’s driveway. Of course his Granny was sure that if he went outside by himself he would immediately be kidnapped by a band of roving Russian Gypsies. There had been no reports of any Russian Gypsies in the area since…since forever, but you can’t be too careful she thought. So, she went outside to guard him and to watch him ride his skateboard. That was when things went South in a hurry.

The kid was pretty good on the skateboard. He had skill. What he did not have was good judgement which he demonstrated by turning to my 70 year old Aunt Annette and saying, “Do you want to try out my skateboard, Grannie?” This was back in the 1970s so, thankfully, the 911 emergency line was already in place.

Everyone knows that 70 year old Lithuanian Grandmothers and skateboards do not mix. Nor do 70 year old Lithuanian Grandmother’s hip bones and concrete driveways. It took a while for her to admit that her decision to hop onto the skateboard was her own fault and not part of a Russian Gypsy plot. She survived, albeit with a bit of a limp, until her late 90s.

Perhaps, if this story about my Aunt had gotten a wider audience a few years ago, the Mayor of New York City might have seen it and gotten the message in time to avoid his lethal encounter with the Groundhog.

The lesson to be learned isn’t all that complicated or tricky. It is that sometimes it is best to leave well enough alone. More crudely put: Don’t screw around with stuff you don’t know nothin’ about.

Happy Groundhog Day

!

0ad12880-a2dd-4d9b-ac92-3d2d732c2dd5

Single Post Navigation

5 thoughts on “It’s A Good Day To Play It Safe

  1. The poor groundhog!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for a good laugh, and a pleasant read. It brings back some memories. When I was young and being bad, my mom would often threaten me with being sold to the gypsies. Imagine being six, and staring down a road, and listening for the creaky sound of approaching wagon wheels. Happy groundhog day.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reminds me of the episode in the TV sitcom, ‘WKRP In Cincinnati’ when they dropped the domesticated turkeys from a helicopter for waiting fans as à publicity stunt. In the words of Les Nesbit…’but, I thought turkeys could fly’, as each domesticated turkey splatted to the ground.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Made my day, especially “the roving Russian Gypsies”!

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: