Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

Look Into My Eyes

DRIP. DRIP. DRIP. Three drops for three days, but only in my left eye. My right eye is on its own – at least for the next two weeks. At that point it becomes Drip, Drip, Drip in the right eye.

By this time tomorrow I will have a brand spankin’ new lens in my left eye. Then for the next two weeks I will see better in that eye and still see crappy in the other. 

When I asked the doctor about that in-between period of time I was told, “Yeah, that’s the awkward period.”

There are three ways of dealing with it

A) Take off your glasses and go commando

B) Some people just poke out the left lens in their glasses and go with just the one lens – The Uber Nerd Look.

C) My third option would be to go on wearing my old glasses and see the world as fuzzy and askew. Well, that’s pretty much what I have right now.

I offered the doctor a fourth option. He liked it, but couldn’t recommend it : Fly to Hawaii, live on the beach and knock back a row of Piña Coladas. I would feel much warmer. My vision would still be blurry, but with a good cause.

The way the weather has been so far this month I have to admit that the world hasn’t been much to look at anyway. When we got back from Texas it was minus 9 degrees below zero. It took me three days to bother venturing out. I had serious Cabin Fever and if I didn’t get some coffee in me I was in danger of going Viking and start hallucinating. Visions of Thor and his Mr. Coffee Hammer pounding on my forehead wouldn’t solve anything and might have my wife, the lovely and Non- Nordic beauty, Dawn, locking one of us in the bathroom.

I’ll be glad when this eye business is over. For the last year I have been looking at the TV like my glasses were made from unwashed grape jelly jars.

My only disappointment in this cataract business is that I won’t get to wear an eye patch. When the nurse told me that no eye patches were involved I had to scrap some well thought out plans. I had already made contact with someone who could supply me with a patch bearing a lovely Skull and Crossbones motif.

AAARRGH, Matey!

There went that fantasy.

Dawn was let down a bit too because she had a very nice design for a patch with the San Francisco Giants logo on it. I dunno. I may wear it anyway just for the effect.

I will write more about this eyeball adventure. I know that it bothers some of you when I get into the details, but look at it this way – If someday you have to go through this same procedure you will have a bit of advanced knowledge of what to expect. Of course that’s true only if you look at the world from the same slightly twisted point of view as me. Good luck on that.

Even if I don’t get to enjoy any of the more fun filled aspects of surgery I will at least be able to take that long white cane off of the Toyota.

 

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5 thoughts on “Look Into My Eyes

  1. It appears you can find humour in any situation. You must be related to my brother. (Who has had three brain surgeries, has lost the sight in one eye and is still making jokes. What a guy!)

    Like

  2. Go commando and the Uber nerd look. Then the white cane video. Please stop making me laugh out loud while my husband is still sleeping! 🤣

    Like

  3. I told my wife about you and suggested that maybe that was my problem. She told me to stop reading stuff on the Internet. So, now you’re the Internet! Anyway, i cleaned the glasses and all is well

    Liked by 1 person

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