In Like Flynn
I’m sitting here sipping on a cup of decaf coffee – by choice. In a few hours I will be going into my Cardiologist’s office for a Blood Pressure check and a blood draw. A load of caffeine won’t help my BP reading and the free donut I was just offered won’t look pretty on the analysis of my Type “O” Negative.
I started a new blood pressure medication a couple of weeks ago and my visit today is a follow-up to see if it is doing anything other than making mew slightly nauseous until I eat something – and donuts are not a good choice. I’m not sure that what I will eat instead of the free donut will be much better but it sure beats the possibility of hurling all over the Doctor’s nice white lab coat. Doing that is very bad form. I think I’ll get n overpriced breakfast sandwich.
I’m sure that my sandwich is not chemically ideal in the face of a BP check and blood draw, but I’m hoping that the three hour gap between now and “Stick out your arm” time will soften the blow. I don’t want them to check my BP and tell me that my reading is similar to that of an angry Cape Buffalo.
A couple of months ago at the urging of my new Doctor I bought one of those “Do-It-Yourself” Home BP Monitors. The Doctor wanted me to track my own blood pressure for a few weeks and then go back to his office to see what their “Not Purchased From Amazon” gizmo said. I followed his order, but all that it determined with any certainty was that my blood pressure was too high for a Human Being and that my “Mr. Aneurysm” blood pressure gauge was obviously made by the same people who made my “Magic 8 Ball.”
I don’t really mind going in for these tests. They do serve a purpose aside from providing employment for thousands of Medical Technicians. They help keep me alive which is something rather important to me.
OK, I’m back from the Doctor’s office. I am still alive and the woman who took my BP did not faint as she read the numbers on their gizmo. She actually smiled which I took as a good sign. If she had started to cry or gone “Tsk, tsk” I would have begun to worry. When the other woman who took my blood didn’t faint or run screaming from the building I knew I was “In like Flynn.” (Under fifty years old? – look it up.)
Later in the day I got a call from the Doctor’s office telling me that, according to The Doctor my BP was acceptable, if not completely ideal, and that the analysis of my blood confirmed that I was 1) Human, 2) Not Pregnant, and 3) While not in perfect health, I was well enough to warrant another BP check appointment a month down the road. That was good enough for me. I have a Doctor’s official opinion that I’m good for another 30 days. It’s like a magazine subscription. As long as I get another issue every month I know that my subscription hasn’t lapsed and neither have I.