Throwback Thursday from Dec. 2015 “$65K A Month Should Be Enough”
OVER COFFEE I SCANNED THE CELEBRITY NEWS to see if Ihad been nominated for something – nothing again this year.
Failing to score any Oscar or Golden Globe nominations I shifted my focus over to the “Splitsville” column where I learned that Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas are divorcing. Que Lastima!
In La-La Land this Splitsville stuff is a big money world.
With the Miss Melanie and “Zorro” Banderas rupture the dollar amounts got my attention. It seems that Antonio agreed to a settlement whereby Melanie gets 65K PER MONTH for living expenses.
After I caught my breath, and resumed my various vital signs, I got up from the floor and started to think about that.
Bless her heart, but Melanie hasn’t been “The Next Big Thing” for a long time. In Hollywood a “long time” means anything beyond lunch yesterday. For most of her recent movies – they’ve gone to video before the popcorn cooled. Several of her cinematic efforts lately have gone straight to video, bypassing the two hour stop-over in your local theater. I don’t mean to imply that she is box office poison. No, maybe the closest way to phrase it is that she is “Box office month old sushi from the gas station lunch counter.” Not fresh, but not necessarily toxic.
But – 65 Grand a month for living expenses? I didn’t realize that Botox was that expensive.
Melanie is the daughter of actress extraordinaire Tippi Hedren. 65K a month would keep Tippi in birds for the rest of her life – and then some.
What could Melanie do with 65K/month? You can only take so many new photo Headshots. With 65K/month she could stand on the corner at Hollywood and Vine and pass out Press Kits to everyone who walks by in an effort to revive the ol’ career. I would advise her not to stand out there after dark unless she wants to meet some unsavory characters with career ambitions of their own.
65K/month is 780K a year – not a bad piece of change. I hope that Antonio Banderas has some movies lined up. I know that he might get multiple millions per film, but he has “expenses” coming out his wazoo. There is child support of beaucoup bucks per month, then the mortgages and upkeep of at least one residence – and then there is Melanie. It wouldn’t surprise me if Antonio headed back to Spain for some quickie “Fistful of Dollars” type flicks. Crank them out, cash the check, write the checks, make another movie.
Antonio has done some good work over the years since he crossed the Atlantic to the USA. So has Melanie. It’s just that it has been a while for both of them and for dollar figures like this – well, I would expect to see something like this emerging from the bust-up of some major A-List stars.
Maybe the economy in Hollywood has had a resurgence that has yet to catch up with the rest of us. If nothing else, the Hollywood Divorce Lawyers are doing well, but they always do it seems. You never hear of one of them going to Mexico to do some quickie divorces to make ends meet.
Do I sound bitter? I hope not. I try not to waste time being bitter about anything at my age. I think the last thing that I was bitter about was the American League adopting the Designated Hitter Rule. (Blasphemy, just blasphemy.) Since then I’ve tried to roll with the punches, go with the flow, and ride with the tide.
I know that it is just before Christmas and we should spread goodwill and cheer. I’m holding out some of that for Antonio – he’s gonna need it.
Down the Hall on Your Left 
All one can do is shake their head and laugh. And of course write about it. Thanks for the laugh, John!
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