I Didn’t Pack For This
GREETINGS, YET AGAIN, FROM TEXAS. South Texas where for the last two days it has been colder than it has been back in Terre Haute (That’s French for “Ay, Caramba, hace mucho frio!”) I did not plan on this. I did not pack for this. I do not like this. The solution is: Go to Wally World and buy a sweatshirt or twelve.
I also did not pack so as to be properly dressed for a funeral. An uncle passed away suddenly a couple of days ago so we have extended our stay. Considering that my suitcase has nothing but Levis and Hawaiian shirts a more extensive shopping foray is in order. Wally World just ain’t gonna cut it.
All I really need are a pair of decent slacks and a shirt that doesn’t have palm trees on it. That and doesn’t cost too much.
My wife, the lovely and going to participate in the services, Dawn, was faced with a similar problem. She needed to get some appropriate clothes as well. Since she will be conducting part of the funeral her clothes have to more than just passable. She has to look good. Me? I have to look good enough to not be the source of gossip.
Our first stop was at a huge mega-mall in Corpus Christi. Dawn knows her way around a mall. Within twenty minutes she had a dress, and other feminine accoutrement. And shoes. Me? I’m in the waiting mode. I didn’t need a dress, accoutrement, or shoes.
When it came time for my end of this safari I suggested that we stop at Target. Big mistake.
As I investigated what Target laughingly calls their “Men’s Department.” It didn’t take me long to realize that if I bought my shirt and slacks there everyone would think I was a Geezer trying to dress like Justin Bieber. I have enough trouble with my public image.
Scratch the Target fiasco.
We drove around the mall acreage and, off in the distance, just past the obligatory puppy mill pet shop, the Cowboy Boot Emporium, and seventeen franchise restaurants, we saw a familiar name – Stein Mart. It’s not the fanciest place on the planet, but I knew I could find what I needed, clothing-wise at least.
A nice pair of slacks (dark blue) in a size I could wear without alteration and a shirt that fit without button gaps. The prices were good so I added a cheap watch to the lot. I like cheap watches. I like cheap. Cheap likes me. We’re a good fit.
The funeral will be on Saturday. Things like that are always sad occasions. There is not much anyone can do about that. Get together to remember and to celebrate the life that was lived. Dawn will participate in her role as a minister. I will be there to participate as a member of the family and to mourn the loss of a man I admired and enjoyed spending time with discussing just about anything. I’m sure the service will be well attended and that Dawn will honor him with her words.
Dawn does funerals very well. I’d want her at mine, but I’m in no rush. I just bought a new cheap watch for heaven’s sake.