Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

A Rose By Any Other Nickname

I DROVE PAST MY NEIGHBORHOOD TACO BELL yesterday. I was glad to see that they are continuing to value their staff by naming another “Employee of the Month.” This month’s winner of the coveted “Golden Taco” is named “Ant.” That’s it. Just “Ant.” I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that “Ant” is a nickname.

“Ant,” Not “An Ant.” Thank Heavens; I’d hate to think that one of the ways to work there and be named “Employee of the Month” would be to have six legs. Although during a busy time at the restaurant that could be an asset.

Our Congratulations go out to Ant.

After considerable thought I have arrived at the conclusion that “Ant” cannot be his or her given name – unless I find out that his or her siblings are named “Cockroach,” “Mantis,” or “Cicada.” While that is unlikely, it is not beyond the realm of modern possibility.

“Ant” might just be short for “Anthony” or “Antoinette.” I had an Aunt Antoinette. I never would have called her “Aunt Ant.” Doing so would have assured for me a horrible death.

If “Ant” is simply a nickname and I was him or her I would try to find a better one. With my name having only four letters it would be hard to “nick” it. “Oh, here comes Joh.” It just doesn’t work.

At one time or another everyone has a nickname whether they know it or not. The unknown nickname is not as uncommon as one would think. Let’s face it –we have all worked with someone who, whenever they were spotted, was called by a nickname. “Here comes that ‘Stupid SOB’ again” or “There goes ‘Old Head Up His Butt.’”

Am I right? Yes, I am.

I have had several nicknames over the years – nicknames that I’ve known about. I’m sure that there were some behind my back as well.

My first nickname came from my father who had an odd sense of humor. There I was a towheaded, cute as could be, little boy, and, no matter what bar we were in, Dad would introduce me as “Shyster.” That’s a good one to strap onto a seven year old kid.

Shyster

I like to think that maybe he had hopes that I would grow up and go into The Law. No, that’s not true. I wish it was, but…. He also trained me so that whenever someone would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” – I would smile and answer, “I want to be a Bookie.”

“Shyster?” “Bookie?” Do we see a trend here?

I never became a lawyer, Shyster or otherwise, and the closest I came to being a Bookie was taking a date to see the movie “The Sting.”

In grade school at St. Mary’s one of the priests always called me “Caramel.” One of the nuns always referred to me as “Albert.” We never could figure out why.

These days I carry the lone nickname of “Krafty.” I do carry it – literally. It is on the license plate on the back of the Toyota. It is an innocuous nickname. Nothing shocking, disgusting, or likely to get me barred from polite society. All it does is trigger questions about my ability to get free Cheez-Whiz. I can’t.

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5 thoughts on “A Rose By Any Other Nickname

  1. This story gave me a chuckle. Way to go, Krafty!!

    Like

  2. “Krafty”. Now this could be, because it entails your last name…..or…..an attempt to describe your personality. Was it your lovely Wife, Dawn, that came up with that? Probably one of your cohorts out on the West Coast, I betcha.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Kids are loosely-goosey with nicknames one at my local S’bucks has the name ‘Ham’ but also identifies herself as ‘she/him’ (to be correct, ‘Ham’ should I.D. Herself as ‘her/him’, but I’m too picky). My nickname was ‘Bottch’, the first syllable of my 2 syllable name. I have to be careful when typing it because the ‘i’ and ‘o’ are adjacent to each other on the iP and it’s easy to err.

    Like

  4. Krafty, huh? Not too bad a nickname, John. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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