Down the Hall on Your Left

This site is a blog about what has been coasting through my consciousness lately. The things I post will be reflections that I see of the world around me. You may not agree with me or like what I say. In either case – you’ll get over it and I can live with it if it makes you unhappy. Please feel free to leave comments if you wish . All postings are: copyright 2014 – 2019

Navel Maneuvers

I WAS READING AN ARTICLE TODAY in the online version of that old chestnut of magazines, the Readers Digest. It is pretty much like the paper magazine without the paper cuts.

The article in question caught my eye strictly because of the title,

“8 Parts Of Your Body You Should Never Touch.”

OK. If I don’t then who will?

The 8 areas in question are; The Face, The Eyes (which I think are part of the face.), The Nose and The Mouth (Without these parts so far there is not much left that constitutes The Face.), The Ears, The Nails (I’m assuming both finger and toe), The Butt, and The Belly Button. The reason for the “No-Touch Zone” idea is that all of these body parts can get dirty. Really? Well I’ll be…

It quickly became obvious to me that the author of the article is a MAJOR “Germ-o-phobe.”

I’ve never really thought about it all that much, but “Yes” the human body is a great place to encounter Germs, Bugs, and Cooties. But think about it – if you never touch these parts of your body you would never bathe, brush, trim, or go potty. What a fun and desirable person you would be then.

Now, aside from the fact that living like this would be nigh on to impossible to accomplish. I wonder how much sleep the author lost while testing all of this?

While I assume that we all try to maintain, at least, a basic level of personal hygiene. I wonder how many people have real concern about the antiseptic status of their Belly Button? I have a Belly Button and just about anyone (Except actresses in the 1950s) also have one. It is a sign of our Species after all.

My Belly Button is where it has always been. It hasn’t moved and I don’t think about it as I plan my future. I see it at times in the mirror even though it does nothing to draw my attention.

The Belly button has no obvious function after birth. It doesn’t make noise or blow smoke rings. It is too small to act as a practical place to store anything (Maybe a couple of caraway seeds), and it is generally covered up most of the time anyway. When it is not covered there are other parts nearby that get more attention.

The Belly Button is like the Motor Vehicle Bureau – we know that it is there, but we don’t see the need to go there very often.

According to the Readers Digest the Belly Button is, “The dirtiest part of the body.” Dirty, Dirty, Dirty. They really get worked up about the possibility of touching one’s horrendously dirty Belly Button with one of “Your Germy fingers.”

I don’t want to spend time with the author of this article. He is probably one of those people who go through life with a bottle of hand sanitizer at the ready and wearing rubber gloves. This has got to be one twisted, even kinky, person. I can just see it…

“I’ll bring the hand sanitizer and the flashlights, you bring the parakeets and the Wiffle Ball.’

This article is the kind of stuff that shows up on my Facebook screen. I don’t recall ever asking Mark Zuckerberg to send these things to me, yet there they are almost every day. I’m not offended (It takes a lot to offend me.) nor am I upset, just a bit confused.

I think that being slightly confused about some things is good. It keeps me asking questions of the world, and of myself. Like, “Why am I reading this article about my Belly Button, my impossibly dirty Belly Button?”

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2 thoughts on “Navel Maneuvers

  1. reminder to myself- eat lunch first then read John’s blog 😉

    Like

  2. Love your style – belly button is like Motor Vehicle Bureau indeed! Wherever you got that hilarious meme…

    Like

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