Everybody, Shut up!
I’M FEELING CROWDED THIS MORNING. I’m feeling that way because I am being crowded today. On most days at 6:30 AM I have my writing corner all to myself, but today for some reason, this is the most popular place in town. Is St. Arbucks giving something away for free today?
With the crowding comes noise – People Noise. The usual background noise in the morning is made up of cars and trucks driving past, but this morning I can’t even hear the traffic going by. Instead all that I can hear is the people sitting at the next table. Three people all trying to talk at once. They are all so excited. Why I can’t understand. They are all jabbering about Real Estate. Not a topic I would usually associate with such unbridled excitement. To each his own I suppose.
That is what I have seated right next to me, mere inches away from my brain. I had to mumble “Excuse me,” just to get access to my corner table. At 6:30 AM that is asking a lot of me. Anything above guttural grunts and wheezes is rather fluent for me at that time of day.
Beyond this chatterbox table are other duos and trios of people who all appear to be on Speed. Why is everyone yelling today? Are they all incapable of normal speaking volumes? Don’t they know that I’m still recovering from the weekend? I’m still a sick man – a sick man with a pen in my hand, and I’m not afraid to use it. I could easily eviscerate them all with snarky language. But I won’t.
OK, I admit it. Perhaps I’m just being over sensitive. After all, these people have a right to sit inches away from me and to be as annoying as all hell. Of course, having the right and “Is this trip really necessary?” are two different things.
This place sounds like it is hosting a convention of auctioneers this morning. I’m sorry, but there is no way on earth that the joys of working in Real Estate should generate such a cacophony. This is Terre Haute (That’s French for “The former owner was a drug dealer.”) for cryin’ out loud!
As I looked around hoping to see another unoccupied corner table where I could install a “Cone of Silence” I see that I am not alone in my unease. Across the way is a young woman sitting alone and slumped over her coffee. She does not look happy. I think that if this place was a beer joint instead of a Starbucks I would designate her as a “Barfly,” one of those souls who spend the day nursing a drink and going over every bad thing that has ever happened to them. I don’t know what to call such a person in here – a “BaristaFly?”
I don’t think that she is hearing anything at all. She is lost in her own caffeinated world.
OK, I am about to snap. My Real Estate Mavens have exhausted all of their glee from that subject and have moved on to – What are their favorite sandwiches at Subway? What the flying…? Why are these people allowed on the streets without supervision? Subway? Who in their right mind can get so excited about a meatball sandwich? The woman was going orgasmic. This is not healthy – for them or for me.
I need to get out of here. It’s either them or me. We cannot continue to coexist in this world. I have been sitting here for 45 minutes and I am proud to say that I have not committed any felonies. For the next 45 – I make no promises.
If you don’t hear from me for a while it will be because I am in Solitary Confinement somewhere – Blessed, quiet, solitary.