A Day Like No Other Day
EVERY DAY I GET AN EMAIL telling me what “National Day” it is. For example – two days ago (8/9) was “National Book Day.” A fine and admirable thing in my opinion. I like books. I read books. I’ve even written a few and I find them handy in the event of a wobbly table leg.
Not content to leave well enough alone the people who keep track of such things advised me that Wednesday was also “National Veep Day.” Like I care. Like anyone who is a Veep actually cares to be reminded. It’s not the kind of thing one brags about.
“Hello, I’m a Veep. I don’t get any respect. I don’t even get called ‘Vice-President.’ All I get is ‘Veep.’”
Regardless of political affiliation or career path nobody aspires to be a “Veep.” I forget who it was exactly, but one “Veep” back in the early twentieth century hit the nail on the head when he said that holding the job of ‘Veep’, “Wasn’t worth a bucket of warm spit.” I think that I cannot remember that fellow’s name is a sure sign of how the world thinks of “Veeps.”
When I got the email announcing National Book Day and National Veep Day there was also a third cause for celebration for that day. August 9th was also “National Rice Pudding Day.”
“Oh, no! It sneaked up on me again and I hadn’t even shopped or gotten a card. National Rice Pudding Day? Are the Banks open? Will there be mail delivered today? Should I hang my kitchen towels at half-staff?”
What is tomorrow – National Blank Page Day? National Empty Box Day?
There are 365 days in your standard issue year, but according to the people who keep track of such things, there are approximately 1500 National Days each year. No wonder Greeting Cards get their own aisle in the supermarket.
Since there are that many “Days” which are considered worthy of celebration I’m just wondering if I can get my very own National Day.
“Hey, everybody, today is “National Send Krafty To Bermuda Day” or “National Slip Krafty A Twenty Under The Table Day.”
This could work.
I’ll have to look into this a little deeper. I can certainly see a little more enthusiasm for me having my own National Day than I see around National Veep Day or National Rice Pudding Day. At least I know people who would vouch for my existence and that I deserve my own National Day. Some of those people, mainly family, can even write if called upon.
If there are already 1500 National Days does it not make sense that there should be a day celebrating the National Days themselves? I propose that there should be a “National National Day Day.” It has a nice ring to it.
I noticed that August the 10th is or was, depending on your point in time, “National Shapewear Day.” I’m not at all sure what that is about, but I am not going there.
Thank you very much.