I Am In The Upright And Locked Position

HERE WE GO AGAIN. We are barely home from our trip to Georgia and we are packing up for a visit with the family in Texas.

By the time this moves to the head of the queue we will probably be back in Terre Haute (That’s French for “We left the TV on.”). Such is the miracle of scheduling the posting of blog entries ahead of time.

There is a time difference to deal with when we go to Texas – it will be 1 PM in Indiana, but it will be High Noon in the Furnaces of Hell in South Texas. It gets HOT there in July. I like things on the warm side, but when we go to Texas in July I don’t feel like I’m sweating. It’s more like I’m being basted.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy going there and the family is filled with wonderful people, it’s just that when the heat and humidity kick in I will be sweating like a nun in that Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.

Over the years I have lobbied to have this visit moved to October, but to no avail. It is in July when all of the kids are out of school and the grown-ups take their vacation time – so, July it is with 327° outside and -129° inside with the air conditioning everywhere. I can never see where we are going because the second I step outside my glasses fog up. It is like looking at the world from inside a glass of skim milk. It makes driving an adventure. I usually have to wait until the AC in the car catches up and the world reappears.

We will spend about a week in Texas. We are hoping that our luggage does the same. In recent years the airlines have been treating our bags with free side trips without us. About ten years ago we flew to Texas for a funeral, but our clothes went somewhere else. It made it necessary for us to make an emergency run to Wally World so we would have more appropriate clothing and some fresh undies. Even so, people stared at my steel toe boots.

Our normal calendar of events takes us to Texas twice a year – July and at Christmas time. We fly down because it is cheaper than driving all that way. According to some app on my phone it is 1131 miles from here to there. For me that would be at least a two day drive. Even if I took an extra day to get there I would still arrive feeling like a wet rag and spend our time there recuperating just in time to start the drive back home. No. Let me fly to Houston or Dallas, grab a bad lunch, change planes and take the puddle-jumper plane down to Corpus Christi. Once there we will spend our time visiting, checking on the number of babies, and doing as little as possible.

While not technically a vacation it will be restful and time well spent. We will eat too much, stay up too late, and go visiting those folks who cannot easily come to see us.

And then we will eat again.

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