Look Out! She Has A Clipboard.
I THINK I LIKE IT HERE. I have made a friend in the cafeteria. For two days now when I have gone to have lunch with my wife, the lovely and officially present, Dawn, I have selected what I wanted for lunch and I have dutifully marched up to the cashier. That is where the magic happens.
Dawn, as an official part of this Gathering, has her meals included. I, as a mere spectator, do not. That’s understandable.
When I have taken my lunch up to the cashier she has taken one look at me and my plate of whatever and said, in a serious southern accent,
“Oh, Honey! Is that all your having? Well, I don’t feel right charging you for just that little bit. You just go and enjoy your lunch.”
My plate had two large slices of pizza on it. It was not like I had just a cherry tomato and a pistachio nut.
Later, as I was walking back to get a refill on my beverage, the same very pleasant employee spotted me. She was carrying a clipboard. She saw me and waved me down. Normally when I see someone with a clipboard I turn and run the other way. Either they want me to sign a petition or I’m being tracked down for something I may or may not have done.
“Oh, hello again, Sir.”
“Sir”? This was not a good sign.
“We’re putting together a ‘special list,’ here for the cafeteria and – what’s your name?”
Well, the Cafeteria Lady didn’t look all that threatening or like an Army Recruiter, so I gave her my name. She jotted it down on her clipboard. She seemed pleased and with a cheery, “Enjoy your meal now, OK?” she bounded off in search of someone else.
I wasn’t sure exactly what that was all about, but I suspect that her “special list” had something to do with me getting a couple free lunches. Since I have no official duties here at this National Meeting, other than as a bauble, I think that I may have fallen through the cracks – lunch-wise.
I certainly had no intention to stiff them for my lunches, but now that I am appearing on some “special list” on an official looking clipboard I figure that all bets are off.
Today at noon we sauntered up to the cafeteria’s cashier station. They had a clipboard. They asked my wife for her name, quickly scanned the list on the clipboard, and not seeing her name waved her through. My friend was not there. They looked at me and I quickly said, “I’m with the band,” and hustled my butt to catch up to Dawn.
Lunch was Mexican today.
I had a small burrito, some rice, and what was called an eggroll, but was closer to a Filipino “Lumpia” than to a true eggroll which didn’t belong there anyway with all the other Mexican dishes.
I didn’t pay for my lunch. I was not pursued. I was not “tased” or tackled, but I kept my eyes open in case the nice Cafeteria Lady showed up. I think she could have explained it all to me.