What Is The Matter?
I THINK MY BODY IS DEFYING ONE OF THE BASIC LAWS OF PHYSICS – that matter is a constant that can neither be created nor destroyed.
Oh, yeah? Well don’t tell that to my sinuses.
I am at the tail end of this head cold. I have been wrestling with it for a couple of weeks. While I know that I will live to annoy another day my sinuses have decided to go it alone and play hard to get.
As soon as I get up in the morning – it starts. I know that I will be spending the next ten minutes blowing my nose. I think I know how the people of Johnstown, Pennsylvania must have felt when the dam upriver burst on that horrible Friday.
After the initial geysering of my nose and I figure out which sock goes where (It’s early) I head out hoping to have a day filled with excitement, joy, and snacking, but it seems the reservoir in my head has other plans. This is where the Physics thing comes on stage.
For the rest of my day I am blowing my nose and going through Kleenex at a frightful pace. Where is all of this stuff coming from? Has my head somehow turned itself into a fluid factory, grabbing loose electrons, protons, and mucoustrons from the air and fusing them together to mimic the source of the Nile?
“Dr. Livingston, Allergist, I presume?”
I don’t understand how my head, which is of a normal size (Contrary to some critics), can possibly produce, hold, and then let loose enough nasty gunk to fill Lake Tanganyika.
There is a concern that my nostrils might be permanently pinked. Right now they are faint rose color and are beginning to attract bees.
Since, according to the business about matter not being created or destroyed, I’d like to know why I have been cursed with all of this viscous crap. With the amount of fluid I am expelling I would think that I should be dehydrated to the point of becoming a box of raisins. Yet I continue to generate more. At times it makes my head feel like a beach ball being kicked around Dodger Stadium.
I did consult with my doctor on this. He assured me that my woes are a combination of the head cold and allergies to all of the budding and blossoming plants around this time of year.
He also wanted to know how I felt about the possibility of Tidal Action in my head until this all blows over. I was not amused.
I fear that one of these mornings I am going to get up, blow my nose and discover brain matter in my Kleenex. If and when that happens I hope that the brain cells I lose are those that make me crave pizza and Buffalo Wings. I could, technically, live without those things and it might help me to lose a few pounds. With my recent spell of bad luck though, any gray matter I might sneeze away would end up tricking my brain into liking Kale and Sushi. What a cruel fate.
So, until all of this passes, one way or another, I will put on a happy face and try to be glad that I am helping to lift the Water Table.
The only things that help me are Tylenol and Zyrtec (not Zyrtec D, can’t take that, suppose to be hard on the heart, but if you don’t have that problem maybe you can take it. Ask Doc.) I hope this passes quick and you get better. 😦 🙂
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I’m pretty much over it all by now. I wrote this about 2 weeks ago . Warmer weather has helped, but thanks for the tip.
I noticed ads for Victoria’sSecret at the end of your post. Have you thought about scanning their catalogue. Just a peek, or two, and a couple of ‘WOWSERS’ at what you see (eye candy) but cause an immediate opening for all that stuff to drain. In fact, I might try it for the heck of it. 😉